When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
I was watching random YouTube videos when I happened to stumble on a video with a title that piqued my interest. The video was titled “It’s pronounced GIF.” My first thought was “Ah, I knew I was correct”. At a glance, you might not be able to see what makes the title so fascinating to me, but here is the catch. The video, as the title suggest, was about the correct pronunciation of GIF. The debate between pronouncing either /ɡɪf/ or /dʒɪf/ has been going on for a long time. And the fact that people would still watch it, whether out of curiosity or to double-check if they were on the “right team,” is what makes this title intriguing. People watch these kinds of videos to make sure they “fit in”. People watch these kinds of videos to find more of their people.
Human being has this sense of belonging, where we feel the need to be affiliated with and accepted by a group of people. Duke University researchers revealed that by the age of three, children have learned to mimic what others say or do in just for the sake of blending in with the crowd. At this age, when they have begun to ingest practically everything that goes on around them, children have learned to adapt to an unstructured set of social rules developed by human nature. Replicating a certain behavior; like the way you speak, the genre music you listen to, and even the sports you play gives you something to in common with people so you can be relatable enough to socialize.
In addition, this instinct is not exclusively for human; it applies to all social beings including animals. For herd animals, it is best not to stand out in order to avoid predators. A study on African wild cattle was conducted by applying orange paint to the horns. Following their investigation, they discovered that the majority of cattle with painted horns had been murdered shortly afterwards. This much of a distinction gave the predators something to focus on, compared to a series of identically horned cattle.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Needless to say, one is expected to adapt to a culture instead of the other way around. During work interviews, for example, employers want to test how effectively you can demonstrate your capability and willingness of integrating yourself seamlessly to a new work environment. The fact that adapting well in a group may be able to benefit social beings is conceded through these studies alone. It ensures the survival of animals. It brings comforts for people knowing they belonged in a group. It might even land you a job.
To make one feel socially accepted, they will try to fit in. This act of fitting in may also be referred to as conformity where it is defined as a type of social influence including a change in belief or conduct in order to blend in with a group. There are plenty reasons why we tend to do this. It could be motivated by the instinct to be liked (normative), wanting to be correct (informational), or simply to conform to a social role (identification). This is why our decisions we took may be impacted by the conduct of people around us. By comprehending conformity, we may see why some people decided to follow the pack, even when sometimes appears to go against their nature.
We tweaked and adjusted different versions of ourselves when presenting ourselves to others, and this varies depending on the company we were with. We used different masks for different situations. We conform for our own interest and self-demand. While it is universally accepted that this behavior is acceptable up to a certain extent, as to gain a healthy social interaction, the issue arises when we try too hard to be accepted by a specific group only to feel as if we are not being genuine enough to ourselves. We will start to wonder and ask questions like “Are they accepting me for who I am, or for the version I act in front of them?”.
For this reason, distinguishing between belonging and compliance is critical. We cannot possibly fit into every standard there is, no matter how hard we try. One does not necessarily have to conform in order to fit in. You could still find your people while being true to yourself. Excessiveness in conformity stifles personal growth and development of a person. It keeps people in that comfort bubble indefinitely, preventing them from going beyond what is strictly required. Nothing good ever comes from excessiveness. Be moderate when trying to fit in, and above all embrace who you are!
P.S. Fret not, both pronunciations of /ɡɪf/ and /dʒɪf/ are correct according to the Oxford English Dictionary ;)
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