At the core of it, I love art because my dad taught me. He passed away when I was nine but in those years he thought me so many important life lessons. I have applied each one of these lessons to art and that has made me whom I am today. I developed Trichotillomania, anxiety and depression after he died which made things hard growing up. Art always saved me, every single time. Art has made me strong, brought me joy and made me who I am today.
Process and Joy
Everything in life has a process and art is no different. When I was a little girl I’d sit and watch my dad draw pictures and write poetry. He was a great artist and a great man. I learned a lot from his process, he was present and in the moment. He wasn’t worried about yesterday, today or tomorrow. He was right there in that exact moment with us. He would start with an inspired thought, then he’d pick up a pencil and start. It was nearly like he was meditating, he was focused at the goal at hand but was still always able to make us laugh while he was doing focusing. He mostly made art for me and my sisters, and gave it to us as gifts. He would design us colouring pages to work on, to me he make magic happen through art. He’d start to draw then all of a sudden there was a teddy wearing a funny jumper or a cute little rabbit. Even though I saw his process, the end result was still always a surprise! My dad overflowed with love for us and I think that’s where this magic came from. We all need magic in our lives and I believe that, that comes from love; from our friends, family and partners. This makes the process of life more enjoyable. It makes it easier to get through the day, when you have joy in your heart, sometimes it can feel a little bit like magic.
Maintaining Optimism
Art has taught me to see the beauty and potential within everyday things, especially in nature. Art is about focusing on the little touches and finishes to build the bigger picture. I started learning about art around the same time I learned to appreciate the value of nature. I was taught that these are interlinked, nature can always be used as a source of inspiration for art. Art has taught me to appreciate the beauty of nature and nature inspires me to make art. This has always helped me to feel rooted and grounded. I know I’ll always feel safe and inspired in nature. It has always helped me to maintain my optimism of the world, as long as there’s beauty in the world than that’s a life worth living.
Confidence and Self belief
I’ll tell you something personal, I’ve never seen beauty in my face and in our society that seems ridiculous. I have a condition where I compulsively pull out my own eye lashes and eye brows, that’s what Trichotillomania is. It’s very difficult for me to see beauty in my face because of it. I was bullied for years in school but it’s OK, I coped the best way I could. At lot of people get bullied and it seems to be right of passage in life. At a very young age I decided to nourish my love of beauty, in other things especially through art. As I’ve mentioned I find beauty in nature, also in music but mostly in the people I have met in my life. On the flip side, I have also met people in my life that never showed me kindness and I realise now that they were probably bullied themselves. I was bullied for so many years after my dad died and those insults dug deep. I unfortunately still have those insecurities to this day but I’m strong enough in my abilities now that this doesn’t hold me back from life. The insults were that I’m ugly, fat, stupid and weird. I mean yeah, those words hurt but I took those insults, I went home and I decided to focus on what beauty really meant to me. I redirected these negative situations and did the best could with what I had. I went home had a cry, let it out and listened to my favourite song. I might have started a drawing, I might have talked to a friend, all in the while, fighting their words with my strength. I was always surprised by my strength that emerged because I never knew I had it. This is something that has always emerged when I need it most in my life and that makes me feel confident. I might not be beautiful like most women, but I’m strong and resilient.
Art and Giving
I don’t make art to get praise; I always have a reason behind everything I make. Sometimes it’s a gift for someone or simply to express how I’m feeling. I have loved many people throughout my life and I have always expressed my appreciation for them by given them a handmade gift made especially for them. In the last year I’ve decided to donate my art to charities to raise funds or to advocate for causes. Art doesn’t have to bring joy just be simply existing or being hung in a gallery. Art can bring joy in other ways, like using it to help people who need it most. I am fortunate this year to be teaching an art workshop to young people where I will teach them the true value of art. Art can make you feel strong, resilient and can help you get through tough times. There is no right or wrong way of doing art, if it helps you, than that’s all that matters.
Art saved my life because it always made me feel strong, it has brought fulfilment to my life and now I get to help people. This is what keeps me going and always will.
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