The effort is the reward

As children our musings to sport bind with wanting to be like our heroes. There’s excitement in the idea of scoring goals and kicking points in front of big crowds and a desire to know what it feels like to take home a gold medal and show it off to the world.

There’s a wonderful innocence surrounding these imaginations but how often are they ruined? Hijacked and overtaken by disappointment come the realisation that only a select few will make the grade and swoon an audience at the highest level and that like in life, sometimes sporting ambition doesn’t go to plan.

I was an average footballer. Any notion of being the next superstar had long evaporated by the time I had finished school at 16. A lack of belief, no understanding and very little guidance from different coaches were all detrimental to any ambition I held and also more importantly to any enjoyment in what is essentially a game.

Most of the time I looked at the grass; my head hanging in tamed anger, upset at a failed pass or shot on goal. There were regular tantrums with balls kicked away in frustration and abuse shouted at myself or anyone crossing my path including team mates. Jerseys were flung to the ground and water bottles discarded across the park in unpleasantness.

The game I loved brought out the very worst in me.

All of this occurred behind a curtain of verbal abuse and bullying which I was constantly subject to at school. I never made the connection at the time but the overflow of emotion stemmed from an overwhelming reaction to me feeling like a victim. If I only knew then what I know now!

My suffering didn’t make my behaviour any more acceptable and without the help or guidance I needed, my carry on was embarrassing for my parents, my team and myself.

I am grateful to be able to say I enjoyed some good days on the pitch and at a relatively young age my found my ambition in the former of coaching; driven by the idea of providing education in ethos to others, highlighting the joy in development and the sense of belonging that can be found within a group.

I found principle in my methods, an application that I never could find as a player. I put this progression down to my Dad who remains to this day my true hero and point of reference for hard work and integrity.

I studied psychology to learn more about the brain and human behaviour. A lot of study time was spent reflecting back upon what I could have done as a player to control and embrace strengths and weaknesses I probably never knew I had but no regrets, only lessons.

I am fortunate to be able to say that I now coach professionally. There are still bad days within myself; still doubt and self-consciousness but there’s always progress and the tantrums are long gone.

In a role of responsibility, calmness is key. I continue to educate mindfully to anyone who struggles with ambition and understanding in where they are in their chosen sport. The effort is the reward.

Here are some tips for young sports people to consider:

Respect your ambition with the effort it deserves

If a kick around with your friends is all you’re after then embrace it fully and enjoy the social side of playing a game you all love together. If you’re planning on becoming the best in the world, don’t expect Sky Sports to show up in the local astro park. Write down your goals and if you’re serious about yourself as an athlete commit to working towards them.

Be respectful

Not only to others but also to yourself. If you’re giving up time to enjoy your hobby or to better yourself in your chosen sport, make it worth your while

Be aware

A group dynamic in team sport is always interesting with so many personalities coming together. Everyone is different everyone has likes and dislikes, everyone has other things going on away from sport. Keep an eye on your team mates and don’t be afraid to ask them if everything is okay. Mind your mates.

Explore your idols; don’t just pin the poster on your bedroom wall

We admire others because we recognise character traits that we either see in ourselves or would like to see in ourselves. Make a list of strengths you believe your hero has and then set your goals to becoming stronger in this area yourself.