Growing up on the Isle of Mull in Scotland was idyllic. The farm we lived on had over 6 miles of rugged coastline and more trees than you could ever build tree houses. As young boys we had no such things as TV, so we were forced to live wild and adventurously, thriving in our imaginations.
Shortly after arriving at primary school it became apparent there was something wrong. I’ve no idea what changed in me, but prior to primary school I was just a bit energetic, some might say hyperactive and completely wild. Then when conformity arrived, suddenly I wasn’t just harmless, I was ADHD – I was dangerous, bad, naughty. I didn’t fit in, and when you don’t fit in, people either try to make you fit in or think you’re sick.
I’m very fortunate that during my primary years my parents refused the drugs that were suggested to “calm me down” and instead opted for counselling. I have no recollection of what I said to the counsellor, but I remember him – Mr. Hall, tall and warm and caring. Perhaps I was lucky to avoid the drugs, lucky to find Mr. Hall, lucky to have assertive and forgiving parents. For sure things could have gone differently and that makes me grateful.
When I moved into secondary school I struggled. It was a new school and new friends, or not maybe the case. Being 4th of 5 kids I had always developed acute attention seeking skills, otherwise you might not eat, and these continued to develop rapidly. My head was so busy, so complicated, no-one could understand the voices inside my head but they ate at me, so much so I tried to take my own life from depression. Not once, but two stomach pumps and an incident with a rope.
I left school at 16 and started my first business. I have my parents to thank for their incredible support, their words of wisdom drowning out the negatives from society around me. It didn’t go to plan, but it didn’t deter me one bit. I had this ability to focus on what’s ahead, this sort of knowing. I know I’m going to get there, this is all just part of the journey. And I’m so lucky and grateful I’ve had that mindset from the get go.
By the time I was 23, I’d been the top salesman selling door to door, worked 3 years in corporate sales and setup 5 businesses, the largest of which employed 10 people for 2.5 years. People constantly reminded me I had a gift, something special, which was as much a burden as it was a motivator.
All during this time I was self-medicating. Lots of partying, lots of drinking, lots and lots of getting out of my head. Oh my head, leave me alone. Pray leave me alone.
So when I found myself moving to London to become a broker, I could finally mix the two. The partying and drinking combined with the working hard went hand in hand. Broking fit me well, and I fit broking.
It wasn’t until I removed alcohol from the equation, that I suddenly realised how limiting it had been. I may as well have been taking Ritalin for the past 20 years. The clarity of mind, the productivity, the knowing thyself, the awareness, the relationship upgrades and the total life boost, alcohol had been my Kryptonite, draining my power.
I couldn’t believe what an advantage going alcohol free gave me, I needed to spread the word. This was my calling, my destiny. Everything had led me to this point. I knew I needed to help people realise the same, that alcohol is your one big fat blind spot! For so many years I had been numbing myself, numbing my superfasttalkingbrain with a couple of pints here or a bottle or two of red there. When I finally lifted myself out it was like seeing the matrix.
I know that many people with mental health problems use alcohol to numb the pain, the hurt, the fear, the anxiety, the stress, the difficulties. This is only exacerbating the problem. Now I know you know this, but it’s one thing saying and another doing. So here’s the challenge: if you suffer from a mental health problem, stop drinking. Stop drinking right now. Then email me in 90 days and tell me how your life has changed, like the thousands of other people just like you who have emailed over the past few short months.
When I was a kid, I was mentally ill, I was ADHD, there was something wrong with me. Now I’m an adult. I setup 5 businesses, all different, all employing people – I have ADHD to thank for that.
I started a Broking Desk in a crowded market and made it number 1 in under 3 years – I have ADHD to thank for that. I built a startup WHILST building a multi million dollar broking desk and helped thousands of people change their lives all over the world – I have ADHD to thank for that. I renovated a house, had a newborn, built a startup, managed a broking desk, published a book, went from 23% bodyfat to 10.6% all whilst thinking about 30 other things – I have the wonderful ADHD to thank for that.
It’s truly a gift. It’s a superpower, and I hope you learn to control your superpower one day.
As a young boy I always felt such an outcast – which is the purpose of my message to YOU, you with the ADHD, ADD, whatever, damn right you’re special, but you’re not alone. You’re part of an Elite force, the SAS of Humans. We have unique abilities and you need to learn to harness them and unlock them. It takes time and patience, and lots of love from those around you, but it’s inside you, and I can’t wait to see it flourish.
One of the best resources on the internet is the empowering and enlightening podcast from Peter Shankman with fasterthannormal.com. Take a look and join us in helping those with ADHD learn to harness their superpower.
If you are thinking of going alcohol free and boosting your life, come and join us at oneyearnobeer.com. No stigma, no pressure, just cool people learning to get the best from their life.
You can email me directly on Ruari@oneyearnobeer.com I would love to hear from you.
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