I’m from a family of 7. Three girls, two boys.
We were brought up in the country in a beautiful home with everything we could have ever wanted and parents that loved us beyond the moon.
Fast forward a few years.
I always believed that mental health is the elephant in the room. I call him nelly. My brother started getting sick about 4 years ago. Nelly was with him everywhere he went over those years. Probably since he was born but was only shown in the later years. He went absolutely everywhere with my brother. Went out with his friends? Nelly went. Went fishing? Nelly went. Stayed in his room? Nelly went. Went to Australia to start a new life with new opportunities? Nelly went. Went to a piece of s*** ward in a hospital that was supposed to help? Nelly went.
My family and I tried our very very very hardest to try fight Nelly to no avail. The only people that had the resources to tame Nelly are the doctors who have trained for years and years with expertise that his family did not have. But they didn’t. They didn’t fight.
I wrote this in January 2017.
Contemplating, waiting for,
A knock on the door,
A phone call,
Unwanted,
Devastating,
But know that it’s coming.
Deep down,
Is he alive?
You check today,
In a routine,
Downwards spiral
I hope we get to hear his voice once more;
My brother took his own life a few weeks ago. He took control over Nelly.
The budget for mental health last year to my knowledge was 35million. The country spent 32million bringing the Pope to Ireland.
This is not right.
#thumbsupforBenny
Help information
If you need help please talk to friends, family, a GP, therapist or one of the free confidential helpline services. For a full list of national mental health services see yourmentalhealth.ie.
- Samaritans on their free confidential 24/7 helpline on 116-123, by emailing jo@samaritans.ie
- Pieta House National Suicide Helpline 1800 247 247 or email mary@pieta.ie – (suicide prevention, self-harm, bereavement) or text HELP to 51444 (standard message rates apply)
- Aware 1800 80 48 48 (depression, anxiety)
If living in Ireland you can find accredited therapists in your area here: