Last year I wrote for A lust for life before I published my first book ‘Someone please help me, so I did’, to share my story in the hope that it would help others to find the strength to share their stories and reach out for support and I am so grateful to them. I was overwhelmed by the response from this article and people that contacted me afterwards to open up about their own experiences, their fears and hopes. Having this wonderful organisation is a vital tool in supporting others through their wellness journey.
My story became the story of so many other people, it gave them a voice for years of repressed emotions that held them captive in their hearts and minds, but also in their daily lives. I know from my work as a Spiritual wellness coach, that there are so many people suffering in silence and feel they are alone in their desperation. I was one of those people for many years and empathise with their belief in thinking that no one could truly understand what they were going through on daily basis.
These people were from all walks of life, all professions and all ages. There is no discrimination when it comes to being caught up in a web of confusion, loss, grief, anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts, it can affect anyone at any age. There doesn’t have to be a significant trauma in your life for this to happen, it can occur for many, as they believe it – ‘out of the blue’ without any distinct reason, only that they felt stressed and life just got too much, but they would never have believed that this was a ‘mental health issue’, so they just kept going and forced themselves to get on with life so as to not let anyone else know that they were falling apart inside.
Since publishing my book, I have spoken to hundreds of people from all over Ireland and the world who are still struggling to say “I need help”. I had a lovely gentleman in his 70’s phone me last week to tell me that he had kept his secret for 55 years without ever telling a single soul and after he read my book he wanted to talk to someone. That someone was me, a stranger, whose story resonated with him on many levels, was the only person he felt he could speak to. My heart went out to him, I spent an hour talking with him and advising him of different organisations in his area that could help support him in his healing and recovery to wellness. He told me that he felt a weight had been lifted off him and that maybe it was okay to speak his truth, in his own words “I just want someone to recognise what I went through and that I can find peace once and for all”. I believe that there is hope no matter what age you are or how long you have been carrying the burdens of your past.
People remarked to me that I must be very brave to share my story, I can guarantee you all now – I am not that brave, what I am is open and aware. I have to be so that I can function every day to live my life the way I now want to live it. I am always mindful of my thoughts and feelings, learning to take time out every day to meditate and go for my walk is part of connecting to myself and keeping myself grounded and centred. This daily awareness of self is critical to our wellbeing and not just when we fall apart. I still have days when old fearful thoughts rise up to the surface of my conscious mind and tell me that I am not good enough and you ask yourself “is it really worth it?”, I realise in my awareness that these are just thoughts and unless I attach myself to them, they will soon pass. I reassure myself that I am worthy of life and I change my thought to focus on something as simple as my dogs running around the garden, phoning a friend whom I love and trust or just getting outside and breathing life in for a few minutes. Change your cognitive behaviour and it will change your day.
It is okay to acknowledge the fear inside of ourselves, to ask for support when needed, to say No, to love and accept yourself just as you are and believing that you can move forward one step at a time. Life is our classroom and we are its students. We may not like every lesson, but we will always learn something from each one. We just have to be open to learning something new.
Help information
If you need help please talk to friends, family, a GP, therapist or one of the free confidential helpline services. For a full list of national mental health services see yourmentalhealth.ie.
- Samaritans on their free confidential 24/7 helpline on 116-123, by emailing jo@samaritans.ie
- Pieta House National Suicide Helpline 1800 247 247 or email mary@pieta.ie – (suicide prevention, self-harm, bereavement) or text HELP to 51444 (standard message rates apply)
- Aware 1800 80 48 48 (depression, anxiety)
If living in Ireland you can find accredited therapists in your area here:
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