I am a person that always sees the glass half; a philosophy instilled in me by my parents when I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes (T1D) while on holiday in 1975 in Indreabhán, Gaillimh aged 7 – their policy was “Diabetes will not stop you from achieving anything” – they shaped and nurtured my personality as a strong, committed, indestructible person, setting out to conquer the world on many occasions! I generally am a very positive person and according to my teenage daughter my own “positivity freakiness” can be very irritating!
All my life I’ve ran from jobs, careers, relationships, athletics etc. a commitment phobe am I! Through much soul searching and repeated comments by friends / family / ex-partners this possibly is through the commitment expected for T1D and I never dealt with that, explaining my recklessness, adventure seeking madness and literally enjoying life to the full and just doing the very very bare essentials with regard to TID management! That all changed when I had my daughter – I couldn’t run. My sprinting days were finally at an end!!
These days my T1D and my life just don’t any mutual appreciation for each other with work, pain, stress, distress, travelling, sleeplessness, menopause; insulin for carbs, insulin rages, exercise, low carb, nothing is working to keep my blood sugars within manageable range! Just so Fr Jack at the moment; abandonment of responsible adult could be on the cards. These internal screaming matches have been regular features in my life for the past 6/7 years. HELP…
EXCEPT there is no support / help / assistance for people with diabetes in Ireland who struggle with their psychological / emotional / mental health. FACT. I enquired about a diabetes psychologist in clinic approximately 4/5 years ago. Answer: one part time psychologist who works 2 x ½ days per month in one of the better clinics in Ireland for diabetes services – I should know I’ve attended many in the West, NW, NE and Dublin regions over the years and the least said about some of those the better! So waiting list for over 3.5 years ensued and as someone whose patience has been worn very thin by the level of diabetes services in Ireland there were many Fr. Jack moments experienced in the intervening period. Eventually when just about at breaking point I received my appointment, attended and repeat arranged – for the next month I hear you ask? Hell no that would make logical sense. I waited and waited and waited and got a repeat for six months after the first! So Fr. Jack attended regularly again…I was (and at times still am) like the unexploded earthquake/undetonated hand grenade and if the lava starts flowing or the grenade goes off I don’t envy the person being in the firing line of the debris!
I’ve had problems with anxiety and dealing with situations before in other areas of my life – post natal depression / tragic bereavements / family situations. Counselling worked for me on these occasions. Counselling worked as follows– GP diagnoses you require same, referral letter issued, put on waiting list immediately, waited approximately 3/4 months and then for 6/8 weeks I attended counsellor on weekly basis – in some cases sessions were extended. Medication did not work for me but I did try it and basically works like counselling – attend GP, get diagnosed and prescription issued. No hassle for me anywhere.
However with T1D anxiety / stress / burnout whatever you like to call it – sin scéal eile ar fad!! There a myriad of issues that need to be discussed in relation to this issue and this is why I have written this.
How many times during visits to many nurses / doctors / consultants, all specialists in the diabetic area, have I been asked about my mental health? NEVER; yes never! You know diabetes is a physical condition/illness and if you manage your bloods sure you’ll be grand – bloody wakeup call NO I WON’T! Come live in my shoes for a day and I’d like to see what you think… blood glucose testing, insulin depending on results of blood glucose and what I’m going to eat and when, whether correction needed depending on blood glucose reading, hypos, sleep deprivation due to repeated 2/3 a.m. testing for years, constantly number watching, etc.
I try to speak openly now about the distress/anxiety I suffer with T1D however as I was always perceived as someone who got on with things and never let my T1D interfere with my life in any shape or form friends and family don’t really get it! “You can have diabetes stress/anxiety?” Yes bloody shock and horror you fecking can and its horrendous.
For my almost 44 years living with T1D here is a very brief (and very approximate) snapshot:
So please don’t tell me that this plus lots of other factors (which would take another article) can be all borne without an effect to my mental / emotional / psychological health and that of those who love me – apparently the HSE thinks so as demonstrated by their non employment of any full time diabetes psychologists in Ireland.
To look for help for my mental health has taken a lot of courage. I grew up in a town where there was a psychiatric hospital, my Mum worked there and in between some travelling adventures I did a work stint there so I knew how people with mental health issues were and still are viewed and spoken of especially in rural Ireland and the stigma attached to same. But I had to speak out – not only for myself but to draw attention to the absolute deficiency in mental / psychological / emotional health support/assistance that exists for people with diabetes here.
Have I distress, depression or anxiety linked to my T1D? These terms are only labels but what I can 100% confidently assert is that my T1D is now affecting my mental health.
Assisting me at the moment is online support groups within the diabetes online community (#DOC) and most notably (#GBDoc). There is a fledging Irish version (#IREDoc) which hopefully will take off over time. The effect of peer support has just been tremendous and my online friends take me out of dark places. Laughter is the key here…
Other things that assist me are:
Breathing – to continue is what keeps me going!
Recognising small everyday achieved goals.
Walk in the open air – at least once weekly on a deserted beach so I can release my inner banshee!
Routine – not very achievable presently given my lifestyle is pretty chaotic as a self-employed single Mum with a sick parent on the other side of the country.
Sleep – with pain and still some night time hypos this is also proving elusive.
I appreciate how lucky I am to live where I do, have a fantastic daughter and great friends, to have travelled the world and lived a full and fruitful life that many people have not and will not have the opportunity to do. We don’t go hungry, we have a roof over our heads, go shopping, holiday, etc. all the things that we take for granted but many don’t even think about.
BUT unless I get ongoing and regular appointments with a diabetes psychologist in coping/dealing with the effect my T1D is having on my life and those in close proximity breaking point is not too far off – and when I go into total melt down it is not a pleasant sight!
Approximately 230,000 people live with diabetes in Ireland at the moment – nearly 5% of the population. Numbers are increasing at each and every year. When you take into account their families that is a heck of a lot of people affected by diabetes here. Where is the assistance for their mental / emotional / psychological health? What are their futures like?
For any person with any type of diabetes reading this – if you require assistance for your mental / emotional / psychological health ask in clinic and don’t take NO for an answer. I asked, asked, kept asking, pestered and annoyed I’m sure but eventually got my appointment.
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