People are still scared of mental ill-health in Ireland

See Change, the National Stigma Reduction Partnership and many partner organisations are rolling out a month long national Green Ribbon Campaign to get people talking openly about mental health problems this May.

More than 500,000 green ribbons will be distributed nationwide free of charge to spark a national conversation about mental health throughout Ireland. The aim is to make the month of May every year synonymous with promoting open conversation of mental health and challenging the stigma of mental health problems.

What follows is my own experience of stigma since I was first diagnosed in 1983. More accurately however, it is an account of my rapid understanding of this pervasive stigma and my decision to remain quiet about my diagnosis, especially when looking for work.

Until I began working with Shine (formerly Schizophrenia Ireland) in 1998 I always kept quiet about my emotional difficulties and where they had led me. I knew it would colour people’s perceptions of me. This was especially so in the area of employment. Telling a prospective employer about my history would have been unwise. It would lead to a definite rejection of my application.

I was first diagnosed in 1983 at the age of 24. I was told I had schizophrenia and this frightened me. I had some knowledge of the illness and its symptoms as I had received a BA in Psychology some years earlier.

I was in shock and denial for a while – however I did take my medication so this must have indicated a certain level of acceptance. The diagnosis changed down through the years to schizo-affective disorder and now bipolar illness. Schizo-affective is roughly a combination of schizophrenia and depression or bipolar depression.

I did doubt the diagnosis, but not that I had had an acute episode of something that I did not at all understand. I had been living abroad and returned to Limerick where I ended up in St. Joseph’s Psychiatric Hospital. I was there for six weeks.

On leaving, I returned to my family for two months. I felt different, tarnished. My family were supportive but I felt I had to get away from Limerick following my episode. I felt I would be judged for my experience of being in a psychiatric hospital. My real friends stuck by me yet I felt I had to begin all over again in England.

I am aware that there is some debate about how much stigma is self-created, in the sense that we will imagine that others will think negatively of us. This was partly the case with me as my confidence was at an all time low and I had slipped into depression following a high mood. It is also my experience that it is those people I had NOT hurt during my episode were more likely to stick by me.

And then, of course, people who have not had an episode [may] not understand at all. During depression there may be advice such as “count your blessings” and, if one has acted bizarrely or over-the-top as I had, you are greeted by complete incomprehension.

I again entered St. Joseph’s in 1985 following two years in England. This time following my discharge I lasted six months in Ireland so I suppose that is progress of a sort.

I felt again I wanted to go where no one knew me so that I could make a brand new start.

But, of course, wherever you go you carry yourself with you, with your views, hang-ups and ultimately your history. I did an interview in Limerick for an employer in Reading, Berkshire and was accepted. So I did have work to go to and provisional accommodation.

I still feel more at home telling people I may get close to that I have depression rather than bipolar illness. Like schizophrenia, there are gross misconceptions about bipolar disorder.

Maybe like schizophrenia there is an erroneous perception that one invariably becomes aggressive.

Fifteen years ago, while working full-time for Shine, we did a review of the perception of mental health in the national print media. As we had guessed, the tabloid newspapers tended to be the biggest offenders – they used word like “nutter”, “schizo”, “mad axe killer” and so on. We began a campaign of writing to those newspapers, pointing out that they were perpetuating a gross misconception of mental ill-health among the general public. Maybe we have moved on since then – certainly staff at See Change would know.

Since 1985 I have had more hospitalisations and again I’ve stayed quiet about it. I have done interviews with the local and national media, however. At these interviews I have mostly remained anonymous. I have also given frequent talks for Shine. With the question of “going public” at interviews and giving one’s full details, I believe it is crucial to talk with loved ones before this. And personally I did and still do take their concerns into account.

The bottom line is that people are still scared of mental ill-health even if it will affect one in four people throughout their lifetime. I would like to say I’ve been more vocal and open about my difficulties but I also see my mental health as being just one of many aspects of myself. I do not accord it too much importance in my life. I would prefer that people get to know me as a person, not a label.

So in conclusion, I wish the Green Ribbon project success with their very worthwhile work.

The fifth annual Green Ribbon campaign to get Ireland talking about mental health will take place this May. 500,000 Green Ribbons will be distributed nationwide and free of charge in conjunction with hundreds of local and national events. Our aim is to make the month of May every year synonymous with promoting open conversation of mental health and challenging the stigma of mental health problems. For more information and to order your FREE Green Ribbons please see greenribbon.ie.