I have faced different struggles throughout most of my life, but it wasn’t until my forties I reached my lowest point. I had nothing left. I felt that I had nothing to live for, and I thought my mental health would never improve. My life had no structure, and lying in bed each morning I felt I had no reason to get up. I had no hope for the future or that my situation would improve. I had been working with an occupational therapist (OT) for a couple of years, but couldn’t see any change. I found myself at my lowest ebb, and soon thought of suicide as my only option. As therapy wasn’t working for me, my OT recommended Mojo.
Having tried everything else without success, I decided to give it a go – what was there to lose? But even then, my thoughts still circled around suicide. In my darkest moments, I thought that if I went to Mojo I could show my family I had tried everything, and that my death by suicide was truly my last resort. I was fed up with trying to improve how I was feeling only to be disappointed. Even in my first few hours on the programme, I kept asking myself ‘what am I doing here?’, but those doubts began to disappear the more I got into the programme.
Nearly immediately after beginning the programme, I felt hope. The programme gave my life structure, and gave me something to live for. Before the programme I felt lost, but the programme helped me improve all areas of my life. I was taught to become physically fit, and learned tools to manage the challenges life throws at me. Throughout the 12-weeks the Mojo facilitators guided and supported me and the other Mojo men – they really got what we were going through, and made us feel like we are all in it together. Every day on the programme was different. Some days we did stuff to build our mental fitness, other days we were in the gym or working on a plan for our future – the time flew. The different activities made sure all aspects of our lives improved as our mental health did. In the beginning hearing that the programme was for 12 weeks felt like a long time, but had it gone on for a year I still would have wanted more time.
During those 12-weeks on Mojo, it was the first time I felt really respected. The respect of others helped to rebuild my own self-respect. I developed a strong sense of trust with the facilitators and the other men. Each man on the programme helped each other. There were no silly or wrong answers. Everyone was given time, and all our all answers were listened to. Being part of the Mojo network helps me to work on my mental health, although some days are better than others. But since the programme, I know what to do when I’m not feeling good, and have friends to talk to about it.
The greatest thing about the Mojo programme for me, was the group work aspect of the programme. I was introduced to other men who had also experienced mental health challenges. The other Mojo men on the programme became my support network, my rock. If any of us were feeling down, we knew we had each other’s backs and we could help each other. After the programme, a group of us decided to continue working together ourselves. With the help of the facilitators we set up a Mojo Men’s Shed, which is great. We meet a few times a week, and it’s our space to do what we want with. It is just one of the long-term benefits the programme has given me. We do wood turning, play darts and pool, or just hang out and drink tea. It’s really a place where we go to, to be who we are with a great group of lads – it’s like a family. The support network that Mojo started for us has lasted much longer than the 12 week programme.
Over the last few years I’ve done leadership training with the Men’s Shed, and I trained as a mental health facilitator – I never knew I could do that. I never thought I would get to a stage where I could actually help others with their mental health. For me it’s great to give back to others, and help them on their journey. I’m now on Mojo’s Board of Directors and I feel that I can bring my own experience to it. I want to ensure that we can make Mojo available to every man in Ireland who needs it.
I would strongly encourage any man facing challenges in their life whether it be loneliness, mental or physical health, unemployment, dealing with loss or whatever your challenge might be do a Mojo programme – mojo.ngo Despite my early doubts, the programme has changed my life, and I do not know where I would be without it. My family have noticed a huge difference. I am more confident now than before. While I know there is no miracle cure for anyone struggling with their mental health, the programme did save mine. It played a huge role in boosting my mental health and rebuilding my whole life. Because of this, my relationship with my family has really improved. At 52, I found my Mojo!
This International Men’s Day, on Sunday November 19th, Mojo have organised Mojo RISING in the Grand Social in Dublin. It is a festival of music, comedy, dance and spoken word to celebrate all Mojo Men and to shine a light on men’s mental health to ignite a national conversation on what it means to be a man. This international Men’s Day is a really important day for me and for all Mojo Men, our families and our friends. I urge everyone to attend and join in the celebrations.
For more information about Mojo and to get your tickets for Mojo RISING please go to mojo.ngo or find us on Facebook and Twitter @mojo4men
Help information
If you need help please talk to friends, family, a GP, therapist or one of the free confidential helpline services. For a full list of national mental health services see yourmentalhealth.ie.
- Samaritans 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
- Pieta House National Suicide Helpline 1800 247 247 or email mary@pieta.ie – (suicide prevention, self-harm, bereavement) or text HELP to 51444 (standard message rates apply)
- Aware 1800 80 48 48 (depression, anxiety)
If living in Ireland you can find accredited therapists in your area here: