Living with schizophrenia

Thank you so much to the A Lust for Life reader who sent in this article. We appreciate you sharing your story so that it may help others.

I have suffered from schizophrenia since I was 26 years old. I had my first psychotic episode then.

I can only describe it as a terrifying experience. Since then I have had only one other period of illness which culminated in a major psychosis at age 35. My illness has had a profound effect on my life. It has meant intermittent periods of employment which through no fault of my own did not end well.

It has meant being advised that it would be unsafe to have children and above all it has meant not being able to be open or honest about my illness all the time because, even in today’s Ireland, with the enormous strides we have made in relation to mental health it still carries huge stigma to have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. This stigma is sadly the reason I’ve chosen to remain anonymous for this piece.

There is a lot of ignorance surrounding the illness. I think one of the major ones I had to come to terms with was that people think that someone with that kind of illness is dangerous. This is not helped by some articles in the media. I am quite a gentle peace loving person and my illness is anxiety based.

I’m not dangerous but could be a danger to myself when ill. This has not helped much. Other attitudes prevail and in general there is a huge lack of understanding about the illness. Believe me it is something no one would like to have. It is treatable with medication which can control the symptoms and lead to long periods when the person is well and able to cope with life so it is not without hope. The medications do have unpleasant side effects but they improve your quality of life.

In general carrying a weight like schizophrenia is hard but it does have its good sides. I would not be without the inspirational and caring people I have met along my journey of life and my illness is a major factor in meeting these people. I remember one or two in particular who believed in me and who believed that people have all they need inside themselves to cope with whatever difficulties life throws at them. I was encouraged to develop a positive attitude to life and while I try, this isn’t always easy, however I do believe that life with all its difficulties is a precious gift.

I am hopeful that in the Ireland of the future, and as things are going it looks positive, there will be even more compassion and understanding of people who struggle with their mental health.