A little about my journey. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder during the winter of 2016. Due to a breakdown I had experienced – anxiety, depression, insomnia all played a part in my diagnosis. I felt as though living was no longer an option, and my addiction to self-harm was a battle I no longer wanted to experience.
Everything about that period in my life is still somewhat of a blur. But due to continuous self-care and willingness to try new forms of healing (be it medication, meditation, mindfulness therapy or wellness classes), I discovered the light in that tunnel that at times was scary and lonely.
When I was first told by my mental health consultant that my new diagnosis was borderline personality disorder, I didn’t take to it at first. I had never heard nor understood what the term meant. A textbook definition of a person with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) is known as somebody who is emotionally unstable… they are seen to struggle with their identity, as well as with relationships with others and themselves.
When I got diagnosed I thought there was no light in my life. But over a year has passed and along the way I’ve found things that has made living with my mental health disorder that little bit lighter. From my perspective, BPD is an illness that at times can deflate you and make the basic decisions in life feel like a rollercoaster of emotions. Then there’s this emptiness that at the same time could fill a stadium with the capacity of thousands. Days can often feel like months… but life can still be lived. I want to share some of the tips that over the last year has helped me remain strong and motivated enough to continue as a BPD survivor.
Acceptance:
The sooner you accept your illness, the easier the road to recovery will be, and the closer you will be to the light. Keep reminding yourself that you’re not defined by a label, that’s it’s just a part of your journey.
Keeping Up With The Professionals:
With BPD, it is easy to cancel an appointment because you feel like the energy has been sucked out of you. But those therapy appointments or monthly meet ups with your consultant or key nurse are significant in your recovery. As tiring and as difficult as it can be, try your best to see them as often as you can. Because they are the ones who can provide specific treatments that you may need during recovery.
Routine:
Living with BPD can be very chaotic at times. I find having a daily routine adds calmness to the storm. It can be as simple as brushing your teeth at the same time each day. It can be dedicating 30 minutes to mindfulness each day, and going to bed at the same time each night. The key is persistence and consistency. Don’t see it as a to-do list, but if that helps then start checking things off. The difference can be seen almost immediately.
Purpose:
Having something that adds even a little purpose is a great way to keep positive during those days that are un-motivating and stressful. Living with any kind of mental illness can negatively affect your self-worth. Having something to turn to in the form of a hobby, talent or passion is a great way to express yourself. It can help release built up emotions that can be difficult to cope with. One of my purposes is photography, it gives me the incentive to get out of the house when all I want to do is isolate myself away in my bedroom. Having that one thing that makes waking up seem easier and more hopeful is important.
Practice gratitude:
This is my favourite and most important tip. It has changed my whole outlook on recovery as a person living with BPD. It will add positivity to your daily living. Reflecting each day on the things, people, and world around you will make a lasting impact in your life. Each day, list as little as three things you are grateful for. They can be big or small – there’s no right or wrong. Things I’m grateful for is photography, energy, the universe, books, sunset and sunrise, recovery and my ability to turn my thoughts into words. Your list can be as long as you like. Each day no matter how hard things may seem, remind yourself that’s there is always something to be grateful for.
Self-love:
Self-love is important when living with any mental illness. Life can be hard enough but when you throw an illness such as BPD into the mix, it can be like a rollercoaster of unexplained emotions and irrational coping strategies. We speak and treat ourselves as if we are our own enemy. Our reflection is hindered by those voices living inside our head. Instead look and I mean really look at your mind, body and soul. Start giving them the love they deserve by telling yourself you’re doing the best you can and that although BPD can drain you physically. You’re inner self needs to kick ass by been resilient. Show empathy towards yourself and the reflection looking back at you in the mirror. Remind yourself that you’re surviving every day, and that in itself is something to be proud of .
I hope you feel a little lighter and that you begin to see yourself for the amazing, strong and resilient person you are. Yes you may be borderline, but you’re also a human being – and that’s far greater than any illness. So start living your best life and ride those emotional waves like the pro surfer that lives within you.
Lots of love, light & energy
Amy x
Help information
If you need help please talk to friends, family, a GP, therapist or one of the free confidential helpline services. For a full list of national mental health services see yourmentalhealth.ie.
- Samaritans on their free confidential 24/7 helpline on 116-123, by emailing jo@samaritans.ie
- Pieta House National Suicide Helpline 1800 247 247 or email mary@pieta.ie – (suicide prevention, self-harm, bereavement) or text HELP to 51444 (standard message rates apply)
- Aware 1800 80 48 48 (depression, anxiety)
If living in Ireland you can find accredited therapists in your area here:
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