Body-focused repetitive behaviours are habits like biting lips or picking at hair. They can create psychological distress in sufferers, and in extreme cases, they can even threaten health and physical appearance. What can you do if you exhibit this type of behaviour and want to stop?
I deal with some pretty bad anxiety. I can be sitting at work, looking at my inbox, and I unconsciously clench my stomach. When I try to concentrate on a project with a looming deadline, I pick and bite at my lips. Once I’m mindful of the action, I stop. Yet it almost seems involuntary, like blinking my eyes or breathing.
I’ve had this problem for most of my life, but it eventually got bad enough that it was impacting my life in too many ways. I was afraid to kiss my boyfriend because I felt I had damaged my lips so much and that they would look and feel ugly. My jaw hurt from the biting. I even started to develop early smile lines around my mouth from the constant moving and clenching my mouth was doing when I was biting! I felt totally out of control of my impulses.
It takes significant effort to change a bad habit, but the results — improved self-esteem and overall outlook — are worth it. Some people may need to seek outside help. I visit a therapist twice a month to talk about my life and why I’m stressed. She offers up a new, thought-provoking perspective on my experiences. Plus, she’s taught me a few deep-breathing exercises. Alongside the things she’s taught me, I’ve also learned a lot of other things about BFRBs in general. Here’s the advice I want to share:
1. The Importance of Seeing a Doctor
An underlying medical issue could create a body-focused repetitive behaviour. If you’re continually picking at scabs, you might actually have psoriasis, for example. A doctor can order tests to identify any underlying disorders driving discomfort. Sometimes, something as simple as a food allergy can cause significant distress.
One reason I like to pick at my lips is that they’re always dry. I went to a doctor to see if my skin issues were due to vitamin or nutrient deficiency. Luckily, everything checked out. Now I just apply more moisturizer and have to remind myself constantly to leave my lips alone.
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Try Talk Therapy
Therapy is a beautiful way to unearth buried emotions and deal with them. I eventually gave cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) a try. CBT helps identify and change emotions impacting actions — like the ones that drive people to pull out their hair or bite their skin.
Emails, for example, are a big trigger for me. The longer I don’t open them, the more my anxiety grows. Therapy helped me retrain my thoughts and consider the situation differently. Now, I don’t put off checking my inbox. I tackle each envelope head-on.
3. Adopt a Distracting Hobby
Adopting a hobby can help people break body-focused repetitive behaviours by keeping their hands occupied with another task.
I still face anxiety attacks when I clock out of work. However, I can turn that energy into something else — art. I started taking art classes and learned how to create designs. When I’m painting, I can enjoy the present and let worries fall to the wayside.
4. Work up a Sweat!
Another way I like to distract myself is by working out. I prefer Zumba class because I feel like I’m having fun rather than exercising. If I don’t want to head to the gym, I pop in a video and work up a sweat. When the weather is nice, I prefer to go outdoors and hike. No gym can compete with mountain views and fresh air.
When my mind and body are focused elsewhere, I’m not worrying about my body or picking at my lips. I don’t have to worry if I’m clenching my stomach. Instead, I relax and enjoy myself.
5. Track Your Progress
Nowadays, coders create apps for nearly everything, including bad habits. Some apps help monitor how long people go before indulging in undesired behaviour. Others use colour-coding systems so users can celebrate positive milestones and recognise triggers.
I have one app on my phone, that allows me to track how many days I’ve gone without indulging in my habit. The scoreboard makes it feel like a game I can win. Plus, I also use a calendar-like app to try to maintain my positive streaks.
6. Meditate on It
Like talk therapy, meditation raises awareness of negative thought patterns so they can be changed. Feelings guide behaviour. Yet meditation helps people master overreactions by observing thoughts independently of themselves. According to one study, mindful meditation can ease anxiety, a common trigger of body-focused repetitive behaviours.
I like to meditate at home, in the quiet of my bedroom. I sit on my bed and prop a pillow under my legs. For maximum comfort, I like to cross my legs. I sit there and breathe, allowing any and all thoughts to pop into my head. I consider how they make me feel and how I react to them.
7. Get Radical
Experts advise quitting only one bad habit at a time. However, one negative behaviour can inspire another. Think of it this way — let’s say you regularly eat unhealthy meals and drink too much alcohol. Each time you eat fast food, you may crave a beer. If you try to quit drinking, that means you’ll need to change your eating habits, too, I’ll admit it — when I bite at my lips, sometimes I also bite my nails. It’s two bad habits rolled into one. I decided to conquer both and establish healthier practices at the same time. If I give in and let myself nibble at a nail, I know I’ll give into other bad habits, too.
You Can Tackle Your Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviour
If you engage in body-focused repetitive behaviours, just know that you can overcome it and take back your life. I did, and rising above those impulses helped me achieve a feeling of strength and positive control like no other!
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