Finding my calling in introversion

Thanks to constant the positive reinforcement in social media by now we at least understand that introversion is a personality trait and not a weakness or negative characteristics in humans. Though we still have a long way to go but we will reach there eventually. I am sharing my experience as an introvert on discovering my calling.

Fifteen years back the whole world was in front of me, I was a confused individual, I wanted to change the world but did not know how, I wanted to express myself but did not know the medium, and I was too shy to do that. I just graduated from a decent college with a commerce degree. I was an average student but the score in the degree was my lowest. I realized that moment that I never really enjoyed studying for commerce. I only enjoyed and got inspired from a Personality Development Workshop which was organized by the authorities in second year of college. Although I was too conscious to sign up for the workshop but did it anyway when a friend insisted.

I was clueless on what to do after my college. Those days my hometown did not had much of opportunities. Either I had to find my place as an accountant in a private firm, go for further studies or write for government jobs. Not a single option excited me, and I did not find any sense of fulfilment in them. I was confused.

State of confusion is serious. It cripples the mind and I believe it needs some soul searching and to come face to face with some uncomfortable facts about yourself. So, I searched for some inspiration, and asked myself what made me excited, motivated and get going. There were many things that inspired me like music, art and spirituality but contrary to that there were areas which bothered me a lot and it was the fear of speaking and engaging with people. When I x-rayed myself with moment of unbiased truth, I understood that I wanted to inspire others, engage with others but my biggest fear was the same. I wanted to speak and express myself to inspire but before that I needed to overcome the fear of speaking.

This self-analysis and being honest to myself helped me to decide what to do next. Next thing was to search for something which would help me to get out of my shackles. I lacked communication, and I felt shy talking to people, so I felt I had to do something that involved both. It was about time to face my fears.

I started scrolling through the job advertisements on newspapers. After some search in the newspaper, I saw an ad inviting candidates for a walk-in interview for a sales job. This was a simple interview which checked our whether we had the right amount of communication skills to sell dictionaries and encyclopedias. I was selected and was asked to come from the next week.

I had to reach the office at 8 every morning and attend the motivation session that included some silly games. I hated it then. It was basically to charge us up for the day so that we can do maximum sales. Dressed in formals with a tie around my neck and carrying 10 kilos of backpack full of books under the scorching summer sun I wanted to give up. I was so scared to ring the bell of strangers let alone approaching anyone to buy books from me. I realized that the only similarity between two human beings are the similar limbs that we have been bestowed with, rather than that we all were so different in our thoughts, and different in the way we treated others.

One week into the job I was frustrated, at times abused and shoed away from doors by my potential customers. Some more weeks went by and I felt that I had become comfortable in approaching people. By then I formulated a speech to start a conversation with them. I still had to make any sales though. Finally, I could sell a book in my fourth week, the buyer was a young girl who bought the book without even asking any question. But there was a sense of accomplishment in me after persevering for so many days.

This was my first job, a job that I needed rather than I wanted. It helped me to get over the fear of speaking and provided strong building blocks to improve my communication skills.

It also provided the initial foundation to be someone in the future who did not had any inhibitions to speak in front of hundreds. Before inspiring others, it was important to look within and understand what I was lacking and which areas I needed to improve. It is important to listen to the inner self and do some serious self-analysis before you take on the world.

As a seeker I looked within which comes naturally for an introvert and tried to discover what were my strengths and the weaknesses that bothered me. I decided to face it. It helped me to come out of my fear and pave a way for myself.