This is a deep, dark, place that the mind takes you for reasons that are beyond my comprehension. A tortured mind, a tortured heart, and a tortured soul all of which make up your very being; are broken when the dark clouds of depression invades a person’s mind.
There were plenty of high profile people who suffered this darkness that nobody can fix; Vincent Van Gough and of late Robin Williams had this also and enacted the ultimate finale by taking their own life. This is like going down the rabbit hole into depression which can go deeper and end up in despair where most times there is no return because this hole tapers down to a dead end where very few come back.
The English Dictionary states that ‘Depression’ is a mental state in which a person has ‘Feelings of Gloom and Inadequacy’ whereas ‘Despair’ is described as a ‘Total Loss of Hope’! I believe that one goes with the other if a person keeps going down and down the slippery slope of depression.
I know that there are others that had this, but didn’t make it to the end of the tapered hole and they have written about it; Elton John, Leonard Cohen, and John Lennon are but a few to mention – and if you look and listen to their music and lyrics it is plain to be seen. Elton John was tortured by his sexuality which he denied for such a long time. So too was Leonard that suffered the love, romantic love which seemed to evade him all his life. John Lennon was another that was tormented by society and its workings where corruption, war, and hypocrisy.
Thankfully, Elton John was saved by facing his true self, his sexuality, and by the changes in the views of society. I also believe that Leonard lived with his belief of failure to find true love and perhaps he demised a very unhappy man. John Lennon also lived with the knowledge that society would not change with his belief that the rulers, the governments only want control, power, and wealth. However, I believe that his chosen partner Yoko Ono helped him greatly in his many hours of need and for this she should be applauded.
These high profile people are my greatest influence within my life and my connection with them is amazing, as ‘I get them’ if you know what I mean? I understood what they were painting, talking, and singing about; I could put myself into their shoes; I could be their friend just like they are mine in my solitude.
So what is it like progressing into this dark place?
Waking up every morning is bad, as you realise that you are back in the tapered hole that is darkness and the day ahead is dreaded in the mind. The mind is the body’s computer and it will keep it functioning doing all to keep it alive however there is a part that nobody comprehends and this is where the enigmatic dysfunction lies and no one can fix. To the observer the sufferer looks physically normal and this may be so however the observer sees only the seemingly good in the person’s life. We have all heard “Sure he/she had everything going for him/her; so what is wrong with them”?
This kind of thinking is surely evidence that it is not material or lack of that is the problem. It is inside where the ‘computer’ the mind goes wrong for whatever reason and then follows the toxic flood that fills the whole computer with darkness. The sufferer sometimes cannot deal with this torture, this darkness of gloom anymore and may decide to escape in the only that the computer perceives, self destruction. This is the critical time for the observer because the sufferer has ‘made the decision’ and seems to have come out of the darkness because they look and feel happy. Hence the observer drops their guard.
This is a plight affecting many in this modern age and it should be recognised by the powers that be whether in governments or in society as it is destroying families worldwide. The sufferer cannot just ‘snap out of it’ as they are sometimes told but should be treated with special care that is available in every town and city.