Often, there is no warning when weariness shows up. It can happen out of the blue even when you are feeling strong and resourceful and on top of things. Everything can be ticking along nicely until one morning you wake up with weariness draped around you like a heavy cloak. I remember many times especially when the children were younger and I would wake up bone weary and mind mangled. All systems wanted to shut down again and I hadn’t even got up!
We all tire of working, of waiting, of figuring things out. It’s difficult to unravel our thoughts and identify the triggers that suddenly floods our minds like an overflowing river. It’s also difficult to make a quick escape, especially when there are many events in life that are beyond our control.
We may not choose our circumstances, but we can choose our attitude towards them. Whether or not we recognise them, we usually have choices that can contribute positively to our own wellbeing. The choice may not provide a quick fix to life’s difficulties, but it may help us cope better depending on how we react to the challenges we face.
Those heavy mornings with the kids bouncing all over me and weariness hanging round me like an uninvited guest, I learnt to stop in my tracks and take a long deep breath. Until I shook it off, I promised myself I would go easy and handle myself with care.
I said ‘No’ to things that could wait till I was up and running on full par again. I did simple things. I made soup and smoothies and nourishing foods. I baked brownies with the kids, loads of stirring and pouring, and licking spoons. We fed the birds. My little girl added them to her list of prayers that night. “Thank you for the birds. I love them and they love me.” I drew comfort from her gratitude, from the warmth of the open fire and early nights.
In the middle of it all, my car packed up, and I had to leave it in the garage for a few days. We had to walk everywhere. I dreaded it at first, with a six-year-old and my boy with autism, but then it became kind of fun. We had to get up earlier and be more prepared. We saw things like rivers and robins, and met people that smiled and chatted to us – people we would not have met had we been in the car. I continued to do things I enjoyed. I read some positive affirmations and poetry. I scribbled down a few thoughts. I phoned family and friends and listened to music. I lit candles. I worked hard at accepting and resolving, staying calm and forging on. Eventually little cracks of light edged around the centre of the black and filtered out towards the sides. Once the light flickered through, I knew I was on the home straight. Soon I would be on the other side of the slump.
It took about five days. No one or nothing would have lifted the mood any sooner. Writing now, in a completely different frame of mind, I am not sure what worked. Maybe it was the faith that this, too, would pass. Maybe it was the faith I didn’t know I had in myself. Maybe it was just showing up, even though I didn’t feel like it. Taking care of what I needed to take care of seemed to keep me focused and functioning, even when I felt vulnerable and uncertain. Simple choices set me free.
If you find yourself in a bit of a slump or simply feel a little overwhelmed now and then, be patient with yourself. When your body is tired, ask no more of it. Give it permission to rest, to relax without feeling guilty. Sleep when you need to. If you have kids like me, get a big duvet and curl up together on the sofa. Let them comb your hair and run toys up and down your arms. Be kind to yourself. Re-evaluate what matters most. List two or three things you are grateful for every day. Before you know it, you will have a long list that you will draw strength from during challenging times. Find joy in simple things. Place a bunch of pretty flowers somewhere you can see them. It is often the simplest things in life that bring us the greatest pleasures. Life takes its own path. We can only try to take the day, the task at hand, and find the heart in it. Therein lies the beauty of a life… yours and mine.
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