Ways to ‘Ground’ yourself to inner calmness

In times of life’s inevitable ups and downs we often experience overwhelm and/or major stress. Sometimes, when we seek help, supportive friends or complimentary therapists talk about ‘Grounding’ as a good way to calm down and get some valuable head space. It is quite a simple concept, one that works quickly and can make a huge difference. It means keeping your feet firmly on the ground, rooted like a tree in the present situation (as opposed to feeling spacey or unanchored when caught up in negative, anxious thoughts that race around your head.) Keep in mind that ‘Grounding’ sounds almost too easy and it is important to give any of the short techniques below a try for at least a week before you feel a sustainable difference.

Count to ten and breathe!

When our stress levels rise, we sometimes feel our hands sweat, our breathing speed up and our thoughts whirr around frantically. So what can we do? Did you know that when we are relaxed and calm, like in a deep sleep, our breath is always slow and rhythmic? The reverse is true too. If we breathe slowly, we will begin to automatically relax. So for 10 breaths, focus on breathing out, counting how long it takes you to exhale (usually anything from 4 to 10 seconds), pause for a count of 2-4 seconds then inhale for a count of 4-8 seconds. As you continue you will find that you can hold your breath for a little longer naturally. By breathing slowly you are distracting your mind from the negative, anxious thoughts while sending a clear message from your lungs to your head via your nerve endings saying ‘I want to relax and be calm NOW’. In a few minutes after this simple Grounding technique you will feel your body ease and be able to think more clearly. A really good time to do this is first thing in the morning and last thing at night to build up a level of relaxed calmness which can really help during a tough period in your life. You might even try a Yoga or T’ai Chi class who teach this type of breathing as part of the practise.

Living in the moment

How often do we look at the big, scary picture thinking ‘I’ll never be relaxed, able to cope/move beyond this situation’? We tend to bring the past with us clogging up our brain with old hurts and mistakes. We also try to compare ourselves with others thinking they are better than us or have a charmed existence. Remember few people post their true feelings or problems on social media. A terrific Grounding technique to focus your mind on the present moment is to look around you and note 5 things that catch your eye, 4 things that you can hear, 3 things that you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing that you can taste (which might be noting what taste is in your mouth at that time.) This keeps your mind occupied with your 5 senses and your immediate surroundings.

Tree grounding exercise

Mother Nature is a great balm in stressful times gifting us a sense of nurturing. Simply imagine your body like a tree, with roots coming from your legs into the earth below, your torso up to your shoulders like the strong trunk of the tree and your head and arms like the branches reaching up to the sun. Pick your favourite tree if that helps and/or stand barefoot in your garden or park. Now this might sound like a strange thing to do but try it at least once to induce a feeling of peace and tranquillity. Just focus on your body bringing your mind fully into it (rather than running away on unhelpful thoughts) and what you CAN do in that moment.

Another visualisation you could try while standing beside a tree is to work with your breath, imagining your breath easing out through the soles of your feet and into the earth on the exhale, and then on your inhale imagine energy from the earth easing in back up from the earth back up into your body (filling your body with earthy Grounding energy), then on the exhale imagining your breath easing back into the earth, through the roots of the tree again, and continuously doing this for 1 – 2 minutes. You can also visualise all of the stress of the day falling away with your breath into the earth, breathing back up new and revitalising energy.

Body scan

This is a great way to ground yourself into your physical body allowing your mind to relax by focusing on this soothing technique. Start by sitting back comfortably in your chair. Then from the top of your head and moving down along your body, ‘scan’ your body to check where you are feeling any tension. When you sense any tension direct your natural breath to relax that part. If you have difficulty relaxing, try tensing that part of your body very tightly, hold it for a few seconds and then let go and feel yourself ease down slowly. Find something that repeats in your day, boiling a kettle, waiting for someone as a cue to practise this several times a day.

Fingerhold technique to manage emotions

This highly effective Grounding exercise is taken from Patricia Cane’s Living in Wellness – Trauma Healing, A Capacitar manual of Body Mind Spirit Practices for Stress, Trauma and Compassion Fatigue.

It works by giving you something easy to do to take your mind off the negative or anxious thoughts. Nobody around you will notice as it looks like you are simply holding your fingers. It works on the principle that each finger holds an energetic anchor for a particular emotion so by holding or massaging that finger you are relieving that emotion (see diagram below). Hold whichever finger you choose with the opposite hand for 2-5 minutes. Breathe in deeply (do previous breathing exercise). Become aware of the strong feelings you are experiencing. Breathe out slowly and let go. Imagine the feelings draining out your finger and gently falling safely and completely into the ground below where it disappears away from you. Breathe in a sense of harmony, strength and healing. Breathe out slowly, releasing past feeling and problems. Often as you hold each finger you can feel a pulsing sensation as the energy and feelings move and become balanced. This is natural and how you know this technique is working for you.

Try all five Grounding techniques and see which one or ones suit you best. Then ease them into your daily routine which if practised regularly can really help you relax. This then allows you to see clearly what you need to do next as regards moving on with your life.