‘The unexamined life is not worth living’. Socrates
Ever ask yourself “What am I doing with my life?”
At some point most of us get to a place in our lives when this question pops into our head. It may begin as a fleeting thought at a temporary low point but often it resurfaces again as a deeper inquiry that calls to us over and over until it sets us on a quest and sometimes heralds a whole new adventure in life.
In the moment that we find ourselves asking that question I believe we begin a conversation with our soul.
Whoa hold on….. SOUL? Yes I know the word soul is loaded! Yeah it’s got all these religious connotations and woo woo, tree hugger associations but before you click to another page bear with me.
Eleven years ago my world fell apart. It was bang in the middle of the Celtic Tiger. It was the Christmas of the Tsunami in Thailand. As I watched the pictures of lost lives and ruined villages at the other end of the planet, three questions kept nudging through my fog of despair.
“What am I doing with my life?”
“How did I end up here?”
“Who have I become?”
As my life and dreams lay in disarray around me, I was utterly lost. I began to recognise that those questions came from deep inside me. I committed to get in touch with the deeper parts of myself.
In the following months and years I allowed those questions to have their way with me. I saw with sadness that I had constructed a life of meaningless things and distractions. It looked like the dream life – high powered career that took my around the world, private jets, film festivals, opening nights, house by the sea, 5 star hotels, celebrity dinners. But when I was forced to stop and look inside I saw underneath all the glitz, I was miserable. It was so far away from the girl who had once wanted to have a load of kids and run a small arts festival down the country.
“Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving toward the summit of fulfillment.” ― John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom
And so I became an inquirer into how to live life to the fullest and how to allow the authentic and real me to surface. In philosophical and spiritual terms I’m still confused about what the word soul means but what I have come to understand on a more practical level is that soul is our deep authentic self. It’s our North Star, our compass, our unique signature in a world of 7 billion others, it’s the middle of the night longing to makes meaning of our lives.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
In becoming acquainted with my soul my eyes were opened to the fact that we are taught from a very young age to experience life using our rational thinking mind. I learned that we are conditioned to comply with the popular culture out of a fear of not belonging. I saw that we are taught to care more about what others think than we do about being authentic and real. I also uncovered new ideas that I wished someone had taught me in school. Things like the concept of living congruently, getting clear on my own values and inquiring into what really brings me alive.
Now working with people as a coach I have come to understand that engaging with the domain of the soul is an essential part of our overall wellbeing. We can be physically fit, financially stable, have the beautiful home and a diverse social circle but if our life is not aligned with our deepest values, eventually the insistent voice of your soul will make itself heard. So maybe today begin your conversation.
A quick soul-searching exercise
Take two blank sheets of paper. On one page write down your dreams, goals, desires, and longings… the things you want to create in your life, how do you want to contribute, what legacy you want to leave in your life. On the second page write a list of how you spend your days, including everything you do in a normal(ish) week. Compare the two pages and ask yourself …….
How am I spending my days and how closely are they aligned to my deepest longing?
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