Silencing that inner critic

That little voice that gently urges you on and encourages you to keep going can sometimes come from the strangest of places!

I started a walking challenge at the start of this second lockdown to help raise money for Galway Mountain Rescue Team, I love walking and being outdoors, so this would combine doing something for myself and helping others at the same time. I had virtually teamed up with some other participants from across the country, so we were there to support each other every day and we would get to see through our photos, the many places we walked each day and a bit more of our beautiful countryside.

I am not one to track my steps normally, but because of it being a challenge, I decided to use an app on my phone to record my walks each day. On my first day of walking, pressing the start button, it asked me to enter my distance target to be achieved that day which was 5KM, I suddenly felt a touch of anxiety about not being able to reach the daily targets and everyone would know about it! That little voice in my head that tries to halt my good intentions was fully in my awareness.

We all have this voice when it comes to trying something new or challenging and it can stop us from experiencing new opportunities or reaching our goals. One of the first steps to eliminating self-judgment is to recognise that the voice in your head never means you any harm. It may be the source of self-criticism, but that was never its intent. Believe it or not, it originally developed to help us feel emotionally safe and happy. It is trying to protect us. My inner voice was trying to stop me before I even got started just in case I failed!

It started to develop in me from a young age, in believing that I was worthless and would amount to nothing. I was a people pleaser and constantly sought approval from others to validate myself as a good person. What other people thought of me was a clue to my past patterns and the nagging voice that told me “don’t try it, you will fail, and everyone will know you are worthless”

I took a deep breath and told myself “Just take it one step at a time” this is a mantra that has been part of my life since I started practising mindfulness over 25 years ago to help me deal with severe anxiety and depression.

I took off smiling and reminded myself to be mindful whilst walking and take in the beauty of my surroundings. It was a beautiful fresh day, and the sun was shining. I got into a good stride and felt energised, then suddenly out of nowhere, I heard a voice saying “1km – well done only 4 kms to go”. I didn’t realise the app would speak to me, at first I was like “this will drive me cracked if She keeps telling me how far I have gone/to go”, but when she announced to me I was 2KM into my distance target, I shouted out loud “YES”!!!!!

Suddenly I was getting excited about reaching the next kilometre, what time I did it in and how many kilocalories I had burned off, it was like a whole new world for me, strange as that may seem to those that have been tracking or monitoring their every step for years, I had just enjoyed the pleasure of walking.

By the time I had reached home again, I reached my target distance and had gone an extra 1.74km as it was a loop walk that I had done for many years, but never realised the distance.

I shared my photos I had taken along the way and the image of my recorded steps and KMs done for that day with the other participants and they with me, we all congratulated each other on a great day of walking and got to enjoy the sights they enjoyed along their routes.

As I reflected on this later in the day, I realised that the voice coming from the app was like the positive side of my inner voice, the voice that says “yes you can do this, go for it” and I felt very grateful for having it and used it every day of the challenge, I used to say out loud to her…”thank you for encouraging me”

I know, I was really speaking to myself!

We tend to knock ourselves down when we do not achieve the big things in life, but for me, it was the achievement of the small things that led to me believing I could achieve the bigger things..

If the voice in your head frequently tells you “you can’t do this”, try and come up with a visual image of yourself doing the challenge or reaching your goal. As you start to see yourself doing it, you will also start to realise the feelings associated with focusing your attention on something that feels great!

Not only had I the voice in the app encouraging me, but I also had my virtual team to encourage me to keep going every day. Surround yourself with people who want you to achieve and their voices will also become part of your inner dialogue.

Learn to be more aware of the inner voice, accept that it is there and have some compassion for all that it believes to be true for you in the past, in doing so you will give yourself the personal freedom to explore new aspects of yourself and the world.

“Every time you are tempted to react the same old way, ask yourself if you want to remain a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future” ~ Marcandangel