Welcome to the first in a series of articles from me designed to help you have a fantastic 2017 in all areas of work and life. The idea is that each article will build on the previous one helping to create a development type programme that you can customise for yourself. So, have fun with this and let’s see where it takes us.
No own goals
The good news is that I am not going to ask you to set any goals for this year. Let’s resolve to have no resolutions, object to objectives and the goal is not to have any. Yes I agree goals can help and I’m all for having a clear sense of direction but don’t start there which is the mistake most people make. You and I are going to take an alternative approach this year: we are going to make a bigger deal of getting the process working better and then look at what we might achieve. And of course, enjoy the adventure along the way.
‘I’m not in the mood’
One of the most important elements of goal setting that’s rarely mentioned is the mood you are in when you set the goals. The best time to set goals or create a vision is when you are in great form; when things are going really well. Not when you are struggling. If you are a bit low for the month of January please do not – join a gym, go on a diet, give up smoking, buy a self-help book or, make plans for the future. All of these things will make you feel even lower when you don’t follow through on them.
The lowdown on the lows
When you and I are feeling low we have poor habits, no structure, no discipline, no motivation; we’ve lost our shape and we are all over the place. We allow standards to slip and our mantra becomes ‘what’s the point, sure we’re grand’. We undervalue ourselves and we allow other people to undervalue us too! By the way, feeling ‘low’ is perfectly normal and no one is doing anything wrong. Everyone feels low from time to time. The important thing is not to spend too long there and to know how to get from low to strong quickly when you want to.
The strength of the highs
When you and I are in top form we have a natural high and we are effortlessly strong. Now, as if by magic, we have wonderful habits, structure, discipline and are easily motivated. We don’t allow standards to dip and our mantra becomes ‘we are better than this, we can do better than this’. This feeling of easy motivation and effortless discipline is also a natural state and available to us all the time. So, how do we get from ‘low’ to ‘strong’ quickly? The first thing to say is that it can happen really fast. We are in the realm of mood management and moods can change really quickly.
It’s Hero Time!
Don’t worry you don’t have to do anything particularly wild to change your mood. The secret to improving your mood and also valuing yourself more is by getting ‘proof’ that you are a valuable human being. What do you have to do to prove to yourself you are valuable? And, what are your current sources of this proof? Now this is where it get’s tricky because there are some temporary quick fixes that people are drawn towards.
The quick fix
The first two quick fixes are – constantly being ridiculously busy and overindulging in people pleasing. Essentially this works because if other people like me and I am in demand all the time then I must be a good person. Of course this now means we are completely compromised in that we need these people to like us and we need to be busy. The other quick fix is roleplaying – pretending to be strong. On one level this makes sense because on a ‘low’ day we still have to meet important clients, bosses etc. The downside however of constantly roleplaying is that it’s exhausting.
The right thing is the right fix
The irony is that the right fix can be even quicker than a quick fix but it may be a little bit more uncomfortable. The best fix of all is integrity: our ability to do the right thing even though no one is watching. Sometimes it may be to ‘say’ the right thing rather than ‘do’ the right thing.
Super-Power!
By the way, you are doing this not just because it’s the right thing to do but also because in that moment you will prove to yourself that you are a valuable person. Let this be your superpower for 2017. You will leave work a bundle of energy and enthusiasm because you will know that when you were tested today you tapped into your higher self, your inner peak performer.
Super homework!
So as we head out on this adventure of trusting the process your homework until the next time is to set a daily intention of personal and professional integrity as much as you can. Who knows, this may even become a habit?
Next time… The Habit of the Habit – the route to your future success lies in your daily routines.