Self-love and acceptance are the foundations upon which a powerful life is built on

We usually associate the word foundations with building structures. Without laying proper foundations for a structure it will not last the test of time, no matter how aesthetically pleasing it may be. It is the foundations which hold buildings together, the very aspect which cease it from falling. When building they are the first thing to be worked on, they are planned and executed to exact detail to ensure the structure is built to last. They are ‘the lowest load-bearing part of a building, typically below ground level’. Foundations are a crucial aspect of the very building you are reading this in now. Without them it would fall asunder.

Although we are living breathing beings, I think we can learn a lot from the foundations which hold these concrete structures together. After-all we have taken many years of building on foundations and the ground level of childhood to get where we are now.

Foundations for us are the bases to which we stand in the world. There are many things which make up the person reading this, as there are many that make up the person writing, but I feel the most important foundation and one that we all need to build solidly to bear the weight of our lives on top of is that of self-love.

The term self-love seems to make most Irish people cringe. Us Irish feel it to be too overstated, too self indulgent for our modest mindsets. It’s funny how Irish people actually use this as an insult in the form of ‘Sure that fella loves himself!’

Too many Irish people feel that modesty is a virtue and while this is somewhat true, for me, loving yourself is completely different from arrogance, it is a solid foundation to which the rest your beauty comes to the fore. You cannot truly stand in the world unless you can stand behind yourself and the only way to do that is to have a solid foundation of self-love to support yourself against the weight and struggles of life. It is this foundation which ensures your life has something solid to grow on and flourish from.

Self-love and acceptance are the foundations upon which a powerful life is built on. If you don’t have this founding principle and this load bearing foundation then your building will not work. You cannot build on a foundation you do not have, relationships, careers and your innerworkings will not be able to withstand the load of life if you do not have your own solid foundation to keep you together. You cannot offer another person real love if you cannot offer it to yourself first. That foundation begins with loving yourself for the beautifully flawed person you are. Nobody is perfect but if you love yourself in your imperfectness you will be setting a foundation to build an amazing life on top of.

The foundation of self-love is something I have toiled with a lot over the past few years. Sadly, I, like many people, had never worked on any foundation of self-love. This made me all too susceptible to cracks and breaks from the outside world. Having not set out this foundation during my first years of adult life I found myself very lost. I sought self-love and affirmation from other sources than myself. You will never be filled up if you constantly look for love outside of yourself, it starts with you and then the rest flows.

Self-love was something I foolishly attributed to being cocky or arrogant and because of this I never worked on building any foundation. I never acted from a position of self-love, it was always based upon my merit to others. I was a friend, a daughter, a mother, a college graduate, an employee, these were the things which merited my self-love and worth. I relied on other people to offer me what I should have been giving myself and this is a sure recipe for disaster. While relationships can contribute to your self-love they shouldn’t be your only receiving factor.

For your life to be fulfilling and purposeful you need to build and work from your own foundation. You cannot expect others to hold your foundation together when they are holding theirs together too. A building is designed to support only one foundation and in that regard, so are we. Of course we all need help and support at different times in our lives, but if we can work on building powerful foundational structures internally then this creates a strength in us that will carry us through the more difficult times.

Self-love is a foundation many have built from childhood with the aid of their family and interactions with the outside world but if you haven’t built this foundation early on that doesn’t make you a failure, it just means you have some work to do, which isn’t a bad thing. After-all things are always made better with some tweaking and renovations!

Your building of you may be standing 20, 30 or even 50 years but that doesn’t mean you can’t get back to the ground level and begin creating a solid foundation to hold your life on. If you can love yourself unconditionally you will be surprised how positively this can affect your life. When you love someone truly you want the best for them, you will sacrifice, work hard and give your all to ensure they succeed, but what if that person was you? If that were the case there is no telling what you could achieve!

So, get back to the ground work, start at the base, let the bigger things wait. Focus on you, be selfish with your time and energy, invest in yourself and your relationship with you.

This is what I have sought to do this year and although I still have a lot of ground work to do, my foundations are stronger than ever before. After 29 years of not having a solid foundation, I can finally say, I love myself for the perfectly flawed person I am… and I urge you all to love yourself the same.

Thanks for reading!