Reflecting on the year gone by

“Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop” – Rumi

As 2018 draws to a close today, the world around us reflects collectively on the year that has just passed. We consider the major events – globally, and the events of our lives, that made this year memorable. Social media is thronged with people’s ‘Best Nine’ photos on Instagram, Year in Review videos on Facebook, and we are all in a reflective headspace as we think about what the highlights of the year were.

In many ways, these ‘best of year’ social media round ups can be incredibly isolating. I got caught up in the idea myself, and after posting highlights from my own year, thought: that really whitewashes what was actually a pretty awful first few months of 2018. It wasn’t at all representative of my year as a whole. Picking and choosing the best bits of a year is completely artificial. Because yes, there are always a handful of brilliant moments in a year. But our lives are not made up of a series of brilliant moments, one after another: rather it is the little things we do every day, the little victories, the daily struggles, that make up the totality of our lives.

For many if not most of us, 2018 was a tough year at times. Maybe for you it was the toughest yet. Or maybe there just aren’t too many big, shiny, flashy highlights. And seeing everyone posting the highlights of their year – people getting married, going to parties, knocking their career out of the park, excelling at interesting hobbies, having babies, travelling the world and having it all – is hard to swallow, and actually, can make us feel like there’s something really pretty defective about our less-than-perfect lives – even though no one’s life is actually like that.

So perhaps there’s a better way of reflecting on the year than picking out the big, dramatic, wonderful events. Perhaps, especially if you feel this year was tough, a better way of reflecting is by giving yourself credit for getting through the year, for surviving the good and the bad.

Its important to think about the things you did this year that you were proud of – and to think about the small things as well as big and life-altering. But its also important to consider a list of the Hard Things that you went through this year. Think about those Hard Things and think about how you made it through. There were times when you doubted your ability to cope. There were times when you said to yourself, I’ll never make it through this. But you did.

And maybe those little victories can’t be neatly summarised in your ‘top nine’ on Instagram or in a humblebrag Facebook post about what a wonderful year you’ve had. But you should acknowledge them, and recognise yourself for having lived through and survived, and thrived through these Hard Things. And then, we can take the lessons from them into 2019, but let the year go. To stop comparing your day-to-day to the highlight reels of other people’s lives.

Happy new year everyone, and don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back as the clock struck 12. No matter what 2018 held for you, you made it! And you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

And as Rumi so beautifully says, lets Be Like a Tree, and Let the Dead Leaves Drop.