Yes, that is the correct title. Read on!
A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder, usually defined as a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding, typically disproportional to the actual danger posed, often being recognised as irrational. Phobias exist as a result of the most basic human instinct of the “fight” or “flight” syndrome. We fear an outcome that more than likely will not happen, which is a fundamental component of any anxiety disorder. Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, a psychological theory that suggests humans are driven by a combination of needs, states that safety needs, are a major part of a person’s psychological requirements.
I had a crippling phobia throughout my life that although never overly hindered my behaviour, it often restricted me from getting involved with certain activities. I have for as long as I can remember been terrified of water. I am unsure if this is as a result of a past experience, but if so it’s certainly wasn’t down to any particular moment in time. I am from an area of Ireland, Westmeath, that is famous for its stunning lakes, and every summer me and my friends would often head out to the lakes in good weather. However, for some reason I wouldn’t ever get into lake and swim or even paddle around.
Another equally irrational phobia I had was the fear of fish. I dreaded them. I don’t eat fish, they are not particularly aesthetically pleasing and I certainly don’t like swimming with them. I felt this phobia was a side effect of my general anxiety disorder and thought that by overcoming this I could illustrate an element of control over my mind, and hence continue a journey of regaining control over my anxiety levels in the future.
I therefore signed up for an open water sea swim race, giving myself just 8 weeks to not just overcome my phobia, but to also learn how to swim adequately. My first day in the pool in Westwood in Clontarf was a sight to behold. I looked like I was trying to swat fly’s as I attempted to paddle my way down the 50 meter pool, while my swim coach Carole, gazed on with a look of encouragement, or pity, I wasn’t sure. I would not put my head into the water and every time I tried, my heart rate would elevate and I would commence panicking.
Only now do I realise why.
Over the years, I have had such a hostile relationship with my breathing. Some days I would fight for every breath in the midst of prolonged anxiety attacks. I would anchor myself against a chair trying to get my lungs full, and some days I would not be able to, and the result tended to be a panic attack. Because of this, I struggled with the idea of putting my face into water, as you couldn’t breathe. When I became aware of this, I was able to regulate my thoughts in a way that explained the reason behind my behaviours. This alone was a progressive first step. Over the next few days, although I wasn’t hitting any Olympic qualifying times in the water, I became more comfortable with the idea. The key to this was frequency. Even if I didn’t really swim, getting into water as often as possible resulted in an overall calmness.
As the weeks passed, Carole was patient and really coached me into having an actual workable swimming stroke but something much more profound happened. One of the most fundamental parts of swimming, is the ability to regulate your breathing. You must only take small breathes and while exhaling under water, it has to be smooth and controlled. At first I struggled most with this aspect, the panic never too far away, but over time my breathing became much more focused and composed. Not only was I overcoming my phobia, I was also learning techniques that I could integrate into my daily mental fitness routines.
In the past, when I used to meditate and concentrate on my breath I would often panic and hyper ventilate, which prevented me realising the true extent of effective mindfulness. But because I spent so much time in the pool, working on breathing techniques, I was able to utilise this when I attempted meditation. I quickly realised that my lungs were my best friend, and no matter how anxious I became, they would always gift me a breath.
Eight weeks later, I stood on the pier at high rock in Malahide about to do my first open water swim, calm, and completely at ease within myself. Just before I entered the water a man walked up to me and said “Bressie, just so you know, the seals are mating in Dublin Bay at the moment, and getting confused with the swimmers in wetsuits”. “Excuse me,” I mumbled as he suggested I slap their tail if they started getting frisky. At that moment, my phobia of water and fish was replaced by a much more rational phobia, randy seals. I am pretty sure I didn’t even swim, I just threw my arms and legs around the sea like a kid throwing a tantrum, in the hope that if a seal did find me attractive that it got put off by my manic-ness.
Luckily, no confused horny seals tried to hump me during the swim, and after all was said and done, I was so proud of myself that I faced a phobia and overcame it, and in the process discovered how to regulate and focus my breathing in a way I never knew possible.
For that reason, I would highly promote any person looking to start exercising, or even people who want another form of exercise to look at swimming. Especially if like me, you sometimes struggle with your breathing. Be patient, find a good swim coach and try get in as often as possible just to feel the water surrounding you. It takes times, but the added benefit is that it tends to be very difficult to get an injury while swimming as it is a non-weight bearing exercise, and it in fact lengthens and strengthens all the muscles in the body in a way no other exercise can.
Try get into a group or class. Don’t be intimidated as there are always lanes for the slower beginner, but in a class environment you can pick up many tips and techniques to help you improve your stroke. After the Ironmind documentary, so many people contacted me to tell me how much they would like to try a triathlon but they are petrified of water, or can’t swim. I understand completely, but take that challenge on, for when you overcome such challenges you really realise that you can take on anything, and this will serve you so well in the future, whenever you are challenged or put under pressure.
Good luck, be aware of those seals.
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