Our resiliency can often be a survival guide for others; and the willingness to share our stories in this forum often gives others the courage to tackle their own.
I first came to mindfulness because an early childhood trauma had left me with persistent low level anxiety. I sought out help over the years but I never felt like I was getting that breakthrough. It wasn’t until someone recommended a book by Jon Kabat Zinn on mindfulness that I really got into the heart of the problem and began slowly to feel better.
After my first mindfulness meditation – no exaggeration – I felt better than I had in years. While not a panacea it became an integral part of my self-care. That was nearly 15 years ago, and since then I’ve immersed myself in the studying, practicing and teaching of mindfulness.
The impact early trauma has on children’s mental health meant for a long time I lived unhappily in my head throughout my childhood and teens. I wish I had been taught the coping skills I now teach rather than sweeping things under the carpet or using negative behaviour to release pent up emotions and feelings. Instead I sat in the school classroom for years feeling miserable and out of place – something I would never wish on any child.
Once children and teenagers are listened to and believed; if they know people care and that there is a safer way to live then they can recover their self-worth and develop resilience. They need to know you don’t have to be famous or rich or seek the approval of others to find happiness inside yourself. And you certainly don’t have to be the most popular person in class to have an impact on the world.
What is frightening is that, by the age of 13, a third of young people in Ireland are likely to have experienced some type of mental disorder. By the age of 24, the rate will have increased to more than 50%. That means up to one third of young Irish adolescents and over one half of young Irish adults are at increased risk of mental ill-health into their adult years.
You don’t need to be broken or be hippy or even spiritual to practice meditation. When I go into the classroom to teach mindfulness, my goal is to introduce a set of skills that builds resilience, gives meaning, makes kids feel happy in their own skin and to work together with teachers and parents to help achieve this. It is simply to plant some seeds that will grow over time.
Through my own established practice, mindfulness allows me to skilfully notice the full range of my experience (thoughts, emotions, feelings, urges) without drowning in them. It means me being willing to pay attention to whatever shows up for me with friendly curiosity and then deciding what needs to be done about it in a more compassionate, non-judgemental way. It taught me to train my brain to seek out the good; that thoughts are not facts; to talk to myself in a more kindly way and much more.
We need to break the distrust and illusion that mindfulness meditation is some type of quick fix or mumbo jumbo that requires you to wear tie dye and burn incense. The truth is our brains are not geared for the fast-paced technology driven 21st century where everything needs to happen in an instant. Neuroscience research is telling us this.
It’s also telling us that with practice, it’s possible to make changes in the brain to increase our overall sense of wellbeing and happiness.
At the heart of mindfulness is learning to ‘befriend the difficult’, as well as appreciate the pleasant. Once these skills are learned through practice then you know how to take care of the things happening inside you and you know how to take care of the things that happen around you.
Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. I hope my story helps anyone out there who is struggling to push through each day, and inspires you to try mindfulness meditation if you haven’t before.
May you be filled with loving kindness
May you be well
May you be filled with peace and at ease
May you be happy ❤