Beware: Research shows that giving and receiving Christmas gifts may reduce our happiness.
I don’t know what presents to buy for Christmas – my friend whimpered as we finally managed to seize a table in a buzzy café in Dublin city centre. She had been walking from one shop to another for hours, freaking out about what presents to buy this Christmas with a list of names longer than Santa’s beard. Not only did she feel exhausted, but also very unhappy. Flooded with negativity, she felt resentful about the festive season and could not wait for it to be over.
It is not surprising that my friend felt so bad about Christmas, considering that finding the right gifts for all her family and friends seemed to dominate her life. Research shows that when materialistic aspects of Christmas take over, our well-being can be significantly reduced.
The media make us believe that the ritual of Christmas shopping, wrapping gifts and offering them to our loved ones makes us happy, but psychological studies found that they have the opposite effect. When consumerism takes over and we focus a lot of our attention on buying Christmas presents, such behaviour contributes very little to holiday joy.
In addition to that, psychologists found that when people receive gifts that equal a substantial percentage of their own income, they reported an increase of negative emotions. Therefore, they may feel more guilt, shame, sadness, frustration, or anxiety as a result of receiving an expensive gift from you.
This is why I encouraged my friend to focus on small gifts. I suggested she should sit down and write down a list of small things that each one of her family members and friends might appreciate. But I can’t buy my partner a small gift – she protested – this year we agreed we would give each other presents worth a few hundred euro. What will I give him? After all, he has everything he needs?
A team of positive psychologists found that spending money on products does not make us any happier. However, spending the same amount of money on experiences keeps our well-being going for a long time. Therefore, selecting an experience that you and your partner may enjoy post-Christmas may not only become a thoughtful Christmas gift but also, help you enhance your relationship.
Moreover, couples who want to boost their relationship satisfaction may select ‘exciting’ rather than ‘pleasurable’ activities they can do together. ‘Pleasurable’ are such activities as going to cinema, post-Christmas meal, whiskey-appreciation or a photography course. On the other hand, ‘exciting’ activities get our heart-rate going. They may include such gifts as booking salsa classes, white-water rafting, Ferrari Driving experience, or roller-skating ring entry for two. Exciting activities bring us closer together, engage our minds better than pleasures and help us bring more laughter in our lives.
Make the Christmas shopping experience secondary to the season festivities and remember not to let yourself get too sucked into the consumerism surrounding Christmas. It’s important to remember that while all our incomes may vary, each and everyone of us still have the same amount of hours each day. So, don’t forget to spend time and not only money with family and friends this Christmas.
Contrary to what you might think, Christmas presents do not necessarily make you much happier. However, if you choose to buy presents, focus on buying experiences that you can enjoy with people post-Christmas, not products that may soon end up in the big gadget graveyard of their attic!
Merry Christmas!
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