Having struggled with crippling periodic insomnia throughout the years, I have always had an interesting relationship with sleep.
Where most people can’t wait to get to their beds after a tough day, I at times in the past, used to dread getting into my bed as I associated it with panic. My mind would race uncontrollably as the adrenaline went rushing aimlessly through my body.
A few years back I went through this phase where I would wake up at approximately the same time every night with a pain in the back of my throat. Within five minutes or so I would be gasping for air and choking with panic. This happened continuously for nearly 12 months and my sleep patterns became so erratic that I would barely be able to function with normal everyday tasks. I would take 2/3 sleeping pills every night in the hope that they would keep me asleep but they never managed to do so. My brain had gotten into a dysfunctional pattern and showed no signs of letting up.
However, at the time I had been reading a lot about sleep deprivation, night terrors (as they are called) and how the mind reacts in such circumstances.
I started to explore certain ways of tackling the issue and became much more proactive in seeking potential solutions to my irrational behaviour. I tried all the usual things such as meditation, relaxation techniques etc…which all had positive but minimal affects as my brain was so ingrained with this pattern of nightly panic attacks. I would always manage to get to sleep but would consistently wake up to the delights of a panic attack.
I then had this crazy idea that I felt was worth a try.
I like to call it “The Forest Gump Technique”.
I placed a pair of runners beside my bed and started going to bed with a pair of running shorts and a running vest every night.
There was always a warning shot with my night terrors and that was when I felt the pain in my throat. That usually came about five minutes before the panic attack.
So, as soon as I woke up with that pain in my throat I would jump straight out of my bed and throw on the runners and just go for it. I would leave the house at 2/3/4am and run until the pain in my throat went away and the panic subsided.
I continued to do this every night for 15 days. As soon as the throat got tight I was gone out the door. My neighbours were unaware of my mental health issues but I am pretty sure they had some idea I was wired differently when they saw me running around the streets in the grips of winter with only a vest and shorts on.
On the 15th night I ran 35 km. I had never ran this distance before and was completely bollixed as I fell back into bed.
The following evening, for the first time in years I actually wanted to go to my bed. I crawled up the stairs and placed the runners by my bed and quickly fell asleep.
What happened next was quite simply life changing for me. I woke up at 8am the following morning almost paranoid as to why I slept for 8 hours uninterrupted.
I basically shocked my brain in order to get it out of this spiralling pattern of nightly anxiety attacks.
To this day, I have never, ever had another panic attack at night. Coming from a guy who was having them up to once or twice every night that is some statement to make.
The point I am making here must not be misinterpreted. I am not saying that this is the answer to anyone struggling with a similar issue( but it’s worth a try). What I am saying is that you must explore options. Look for ways of dealing with this and in turn fight back against it because I can tell you one thing, it doesn’t just go away. You must confront it. Taking sleeping 2/3 sleeping pills a night for 12 months is not sustainable and certainly not advised so try figure out how your mind is working. No one else can tell you for sure what the perfect solution is.