I still have visions of me wheeling my trolley around the postnatal ward, looking in at my most precious baby girl, tears of joy and sadness streaming down my face. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I hold it together? The most amazing thing had just happened to me. The very thing I had been hoping for all of my life, to become a mother, and I just felt so overwhelmed, not in control of my emotions and petrified of the massive responsibility that lay ahead.
To put it into perspective it was day 3 after giving birth. This is the exact time when women experience a big drop in hormone levels, your milk starts to come in (ouch!), you are trying to establish feeding, you are sweating buckets and still bleeding, and when the initial elation of giving birth starts to subside giving way to the absolute exhaustion you feel from the sleeplessness and ordeal of it all. Glamorous, it is not. Hugely life changing, amazing and all consuming, yes it is…
Commonly referred to as the “baby blues”, this is a normal part of the challenging transition into motherhood. It affects about half of new mothers, starts 3 to 4 days after the birth, and generally subsides by the time the baby is 10 days old, once the hormones have levelled out.
In the beginning Postnatal Depression (PND) can look a lot like the “baby blues”. They share many symptoms, including mood swings, sadness, insomnia and irritability. However, symptoms of PND are more severe; they last longer than 2 weeks, and they can really interfere with your ability to function and to care for your baby. PND affects about one in ten mothers.
Signs and symptoms of Postnatal Depression
It is very important for you and your loved ones to recognise the signs and symptoms of PND so that you can access help as early as possible. The severity of PND depends on the number of symptoms, their intensity and the extent to which they affect your day-to-day life. Symptoms include:
- Low mood for 2 weeks or more
- Loss of interest in yourself and your new baby
- Changes in appetite or weight
- Difficulty sleeping and feeling constantly tired
- Tearfulness
- Despair or feeling trapped in your life
- Lack of motivation
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope
- Feeling guilty or inadequate
- Feeling irritable
- Withdrawing from family, friends and social occasions
- Physical signs of tension, including headaches, stomach aches or blurred vision
- Recurrent thoughts of self-harm, death or suicide
What helps if I have Postnatal Depression?
If you think you may be suffering from Postnatal Depression, there is no reason to feel guilty or ashamed. It can happen to anyone and it is not your fault. Developing PND is outside your control and it does not mean that you are a bad mother or that you do not love your baby. In fact, mothers with PND tend to be overwhelmed with concern about their babies and fear that they are not being a “good enough” mother.
However, the choice to get treatment is in your control. When you are consumed with symptoms of depression, it is really difficult to look after your newborn’s needs. This can disrupt the important bonding process (called the “attachment”), which can set the stage for later difficulties in your child’s life. Attachment is the most important task of infancy; hence it makes sense that “your baby needs you to look after you”.
Considering the impact PND has on both you and your child, it is important to seek help as soon as possible. It is never too late to seek help. The help you need depends on the severity of your symptoms. Your GP, midwife, or other health professional can help to advise you around this.
Top 10 self-help tips for Postnatal Depression
The best thing to do if you have PND is to take care of yourself. The more you care for your mental and physical wellbeing, the better you will feel. A new study has found that having “time for self” at least once a week can improve a mother’s mental health and reduce symptoms of PND (Woolhouse et al, 2015).
It is important to find the little things that work to make you feel better, some of which may include self-help lifestyle changes and seeking support from others:
- Develop a support plan while you are pregnant. Identify what steps you will take in a crisis and who you can call on for support.
- Set aside quality time for yourself to relax and take a break from your baby. Do what makes you feel good and replenishes your self-belief.
- Share what you are feeling with at least one other person. It can be a huge relief to tell someone and can help you make sense of everything.
- Lean on your partner, family and friends. Their support will play a big part in your recovery. Let them know how you’d like to be supported.
- Make your relationships a priority. Spending time with those you love increases your “feel good” brain chemicals.
- Get proper sleep. Although this is difficult with a newborn, a good night’s sleep can do wonders for your mood and energy levels.
- Make meals a priority. What you eat affects your mood. Keep blood sugars stable and ensure you are getting enough nutrients and vitamins.
- Get out of the house as the fresh air will do you good. It can give you some perspective and time for your body and brain to have a breather.
- Ease back into exercise as this is hugely effective in treating depression.
- Join a group for mothers. It is reassuring to hear that other mothers share your challenges and can be good social outlet.
If you have moderate or severe PND, these tips may be useful but are not a replacement for referral to a specialist mental health team and more intensive treatment. Common professional treatments include talking treatments (e.g. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Interpersonal Therapy) and antidepressant medication.
A final word…
Postnatal depression can be lonely, distressing and frightening. It is a temporary condition that you can recover from, as long as it is recognised and treated. Early recognition and treatment will provide the best outcomes for you and your baby. Don’t be ashamed, tell someone how you feel, seek the help and the support that you need. Do it for your baby, but just as importantly, DO IT FOR YOU.
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