Teaching your kids that therapy is important

In my opinion, everyone needs a good therapist. Mental health is every bit as important as physical health, and if we’re not ashamed to go see a doctor when we’re feeling physically unwell, we shouldn’t be ashamed of going to see a therapist either.

I want my kids to understand that going for counseling is beneficial, helpful and part of healthy self-care. I don’t want them thinking that only crazy people see a therapist. After all, therapy certainly isn’t only reserved for serious mental health issues. We don’t have to wait for a life-altering event or catastrophe to threaten our mental health before we book an appointment with a therapist. Instead, going in for therapy should be a normal part of our lives, helping us to stay sane and maintain healthy relationships both with ourselves and others.

Young People Can Benefit from Going to Therapy, Even if there’s no Major Issue

As a parent of teenagers, I’m the first to admit that I’m concerned about their mental health. Teenagers nowadays are under so much pressure that they end up stressed out, putting their mental health at risk.

They have to deal with the pressure of excelling academically and performing well in school activities while coping with peer pressure, body changes as well as uncertainty about their future. All this is a lot to take in especially at a stage where they are more vulnerable to mental health issues. It’s no surprise that the prevalence of teen depression and anxiety, among other mental health problems, are on the increase.

While therapy doesn’t solve a teenager’s problems, it gives them the necessary coping skills to handle them. Teenagers who go for therapy often find a safe place to vent and confide their worries while learning how to sort through their feelings and work through their issues.

How I Encourage My Kids to Go For Counseling

The first time I brought up therapy, I faced a lot of resistance from my kids. They saw it as something only “crazy” people did, and it took a great deal of convincing to get them to give it a try. Here’s how I taught them that therapy is important:

• I understood their reluctance.

Most teenagers loathe therapy which is surprising since they’re so focused on themselves most of the time. I had a chat with my kids to find out what their reservations were and they had quite a few. For starters, they didn’t want their friends thinking they were crazy or weird. They also didn’t want to talk about their feelings, let alone with a stranger. Lastly, they were apprehensive that what they shared with the therapist would get back to me.

• I demystified it by going to therapy myself.

Seeing how reluctant my teens were to attend counseling, I decided to take the lead by going myself. Once my kids saw that I was open and willing to share my feelings, they warmed up to the idea. Creating a home environment where sharing is encouraged, and vulnerability is met with support also went a long way toward normalising therapy for my teenagers.

• We scheduled a get-to-meet-you session.

Young teenagers can be very reticent especially with strangers. To help ease my kids into therapy, I decided to schedule a session where they could meet and interact with a family counselor. I hoped this would dispel any misconceptions they had and that they’d make a connection with the therapist. They got to ask a few questions and got a feel for the whole process in order to decide if it was a good fit for them. I was quite surprised when they actually liked it enough to request further sessions.

• I respected their privacy

Accepting that my kids were more comfortable confiding in a stranger wasn’t easy. I was their father, and part of me felt that I should be the one listening to their thoughts and worries. But I reminded myself that this wasn’t about me. It was about improving my childrens’ mental wellbeing. I decided to respect their privacy and never asked what they shared during their therapy sessions. I trusted that my kids would let me know if they wanted to and honestly, I was just happy that my children were receiving the help that they needed.

• We found them a youth-focused therapist.

Therapists aren’t made equal, and one who deals with adults might not have the skill to work with teenagers. With this in mind, I specifically sought out therapy that’s designed for teenagers. Their therapist knows how to engage with them at their level and shows an interest in what goes on in their lives. Because of this, my children are more comfortable opening up about their struggles and concerns.

Part of the reason why therapy has worked so well for my kids is that I never forced them to attend the sessions. I merely suggested it, and it was up to them to decide whether to go or not. Parents who want their teens to attend counseling would do well to discuss it with them as well as seek assistance from a therapist.