They say that your school and college days are the best times of your life and should be cherished. Whoever first coined that saying must not have experienced social anxiety.
For me, those days were filled with feelings of isolation, excessive anxiety and a desire to run out of the place. Each day was a constant obstacle course avoiding all possible interactions until the moment came where you could leave and go home. Each interaction was a painful experience resulting in a flurry of negative thoughts afterwards as I tried to analyse it in my head and think what should I have said or could I do better next time. Maybe I just haven’t “come out of my shell yet” was the glimmer of hope I held on to.
It wasn’t until I was 27 that I admitted to myself that the excessive levels of anxiety and irrational fear I felt on a daily basis from waking up in the morning to falling to sleep at night wasn’t typical.
It was at this point that I sought out advice from my doctor and was diagnosed as having severe generalised social anxiety. Walking into the consultation room and admitting to the person sitting across from you that you suffer from these daily afflictions and have done so for as long as you can remember was one of the most difficult things I have ever done but it was one of the best things I have ever done as well.
As we sat there and openly discussed my situation, I felt a weight lifting off my shoulders as my doctor brought me through the treatment options that were available, counselling, medication, CBT, etc. There were options available, maybe I didn’t have to feel the way I did every day, things immediately began to look brighter. Looking back on that day, it was most likely a fear of been placed in a vulnerable position and admitting some home truths that made it such a difficult prospect.
Fast forward a couple of months, through a combination of treatment options recommended to me by the doctor my anxiety levels had noticeably reduced. My mind was not in a constant state of alert as if something horrific was about to happen. I understood that I had only taken one step towards where I wanted to be but it was an important one.
Social anxiety can strip you of the ability to make friends, connections, participate in general conversation, enjoy life etc. This can result in people with social anxiety becoming isolated from society and unable to break this cycle. I found myself in a position where I wanted to meet new people and to be able to make meaningful connections. Any groups I encountered were mainly centred on going to the pub or somewhere else where you could buy drinks. This to me was not a long term way to meet new people that meaningful connections could be formed with. It was at this point I decided I would like to meet other people with social anxiety, my logic being I wouldn’t need to explain my situation to them and if I was particularly anxious or absent minded, they would likely just understand.
This was the beginning of Step Out, not that I knew it at the time. I set up a group on meetup.com for people with social anxiety and to my surprise people began to join and agree to meet up for a coffee and a chat. What started as an informal chat in a Dublin café has a year later evolved into a regular interaction group for people with social anxiety.
At Step Out, we believe that being able to meet new people is an imperative need for people with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) to be able to lead fulfilling lives. The main way we provide this is by organising Positive Step Groups – regular social interaction opportunities for our members where they can connect with other people with SAD in an environment that is tailored to and understanding of their anxiety. The groups are small, informal and group facilitators are present to make sure everyone is at ease and welcome to step out of their fear.
Given the success of the group set up in Dublin, We set up another Step Out Group that takes place in Galway City and groups are currently in planning for Limerick, Cork and Wexford and hopefully more to come. It is estimated that 1 in 8 people in Ireland suffer from social anxiety so it is clear that such free available supports are essential towards positively addressing a condition like social anxiety.
If you would like to become a member or volunteer with Step Out Ireland you can find details on our website stepoutireland.com or email help@stepoutireland.com
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