Every one of us has an inner dialogue with ourselves on a daily basis, even though at times we are not overtly aware of it.
We often see cartoons where there is a devil on one shoulder of the character and an angel on the other shoulder, each trying to over power each other. It seems to be that many of us get swayed more by the devil on our shoulder rather than the angel, but it’s fundamentally important to comprehend how negative internal conversations can impact on your day to day lives but also how positive self-talk can help contribute to a more elevated level of self-esteem, confidence and mood.
Self-talk can have quite a powerful impact on your thoughts and emotions and responds to habitual behaviour. For example, if you constantly put yourself down, your mind will assume that this is the norm and will react accordingly, and the opposite is true for those who practise positive self-talk. Of course, it would be disingenuous to presume we can always be positive and upbeat, but the more we attempt to practise positive self talk, the more it will engrain itself into our minds.
Positive self talk is a process many top athletes use both preparing for events and during events. It allows them to stay calm and focused, but also to improve their confidence levels before competition, however it is just as transferable to every other aspect of life, whether it’s a job interview, exams, a first date etc.
Self talk can also be both ‘instructional’ and ‘motivational’. For example, if you are a swimmer and about to enter a race you may ‘instruct’ yourself to keep your elbow high and to not rush your swim stroke. This helps focus the athlete and maintain concentration on the task in hand. ‘Motivational’ self talk can be an internal promoting of your ability to deal with a specific situation. For example, going into an exam and telling yourself that you have the work done and have prepared well, will allow for a more confident and calm approach.
So, how can you start to better manage your self talk and ignore that devil on your shoulder?
1. Be aware of what you are saying to yourself
Awareness is so often the critical building block of effective mental fitness, yet we would be surprised as to how many of us have very little awareness about ourselves or our emotions and feelings. Consciously engage and take note what your inner voice is actually saying.
2. Once you are aware of your inner dialogue, assess it and analyse what is being said. Question your self talk:
– is there proof of what I am saying?
– can I look at this situation in a more positive way?
– can I look at this objectively and introduce some perspective?
– can I do anything to alter what I’m feeling bad about?
3. Transform your negative self talk to positive self
Try and alter your language to allow for a more positive outlook on situations. Rather than say for example ‘this exam is going to be impossible’, perhaps try saying ‘this exam will no doubt be challenging but I know I can get through it’, or ‘I am dreading this race’ changed to ‘I worked hard to be here and whatever happens I am going to enjoy this event’.
These subtle changes in language, over time with habit and an increased awareness will start paying dividends by improving your general self-esteem and confidence levels.
So instead of letting the devil on your shoulder dictate your internal narrative, start paying more attention to that angel that is whispering positive language in your ear.
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