Would you speak to a friend the way in which you speak to yourself? A question that has been asked of me on numerous occasions.
In essence I know that deep down my self talk wouldn’t be the most compassionate or empathetic at the best of times.
However I have started to question this more of late. Why do I speak to myself in such a harsh manner? Do I deserve it? No. Will it improve things? No. Is it true? NO.
A helpful analogy that was once pointed out to me to help me visualise the negative effect of my own militant style of self talk… was that of ‘the wooden spoon’!!! I don’t know if these habits of self berating and battering stem from our history as a nation or what, but what I do know is that they are incredibly depleting, draining and soul destroying.
To quote Eleanor Roosevelt ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent’…NOT EVEN YOU!! There is enough drainage, terror and negativity in the world. Your mind really ought to be your safe space. Your hub. Your garden. Plant nurturing seeds and remove those weeds that purposefully wrap around and stifle any self loving, encouraging and compassionate thoughts you may have….the ones that enable you god forbid to just go that little bit easier on yourself.
There are enough challenges in life. All you need is but another stemming from an on going war with ultimately yourself and your inner critic….one that would probably give the famous ‘night walkers’ a run for their money.
For an intelligent individual. And yes I just called myself intelligent (take that inner critic!) I often am agasht at the years I’ve lost to mental turmoil and the whipping of meself into a creamy mess. The astonishing thing is that the majority of it all stems from a single wee thought… I’m just so grateful and glad that I’ve located it and have chosen to actively work on defeating the niggly little fecker.
Silence that voice. Drop the wooden spoon and just decide for once and for all that you’re gona stop beating yourself up. You have done the best you can with where you are and what you have, and that my friend is pretty damn good enough. Cut yourself some slack and flip the focus of your inner dialogue to a one of praise, encouragement, compassion, gentleness and love.
You deserve a mind that flourishes and in turn let’s you flourish and be the wonderful being that you so truly are. Don’t let any voice be it your own or another ever convince you of otherwise. Ever.
Life is too precious and short to fleet away on wars of self sabotage. Hang up the boots. Let the battle go…you may feel defeated but ultimately you have won. You are the prize. You feeling good is the prize. Being comfortable in your skin, body and mind is the prize. You deserve it. It’s not selfish it’s fundamental to survival in this modern day world #winning. Baz Lurman sums it up pretty nicely…’ the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself’. Stop fighting yourself. Surrender and let it go. Accept yourself from where you are at and gently go from there.
‘Energy flows where your focus goes’…. Do you want to feel empowered or defeated? Like a victim or a survivor? A leader or a follower? Establish your own authority. Be disciplined with your mind. Be firm but fair. If any doubts creep in don’t panic …simply ask yourself….Do I deserve this? And figure out how you could approach the thought, pattern or habit from a place of love, empathy and compassion with the self instead.
You do know the answers. Assert yourself. Become empowered by your voice. You have one. Use it. Trust it.
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