‘I‘ve had lots of worries in my life, most of which have never happened.’ - Mark Twain.
Negative thinking is a habit and habits can be broken. Negative self-talk (the inner critic) is often a habit of which we are not even aware.
By watching your thoughts, you can learn a lot about how your mind operates and the effect your thoughts have on your feelings and ultimately on how you behave. When you tell yourself that you have no energy, or that you are fed up, stressed and frustrated then that is what you will feel. Does this sound familiar? Please note that this is not your fault; the brain has a strong negative bias that is linked to our early survival instincts.
By giving yourself auto-suggestions (a negative or positive thought that links into your subconscious and functions like a command) you are sending powerful messages to your subconscious mind, which will then act upon your orders like an obedient child. For example, visualise a meeting that you are dreading – it could be a work or a personal meeting that you repeatedly catastrophize in your mind or when you discuss it with others. You tell yourself that it will be awkward, stressful and a disaster and by the time you go to the meeting you have already decided the outcome and not surprisingly you are stressed. The meeting goes more smoothly than you imagined and you walk away giving yourself a hard time for worrying unnecessarily.
The important word to focus on here is imagination. Imagination is the single most powerful component of your mind and how you use it will alter the quality of your life, your relationships and even how long you live. When you imagine things going badly your subconscious responds to the auto-suggestion and plays out the negative response pattern.
In his best-selling work Man‘s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and holocaust survivor tells the story of a fellow concentration-camp inmate. In February 1945 this prisoner had a dream in which he was granted a wish and so he wished that the war would be over on 30 March 30 1945. After having this dream, his entire mental and physical health improved because he genuinely believed that on 30 March he would be liberated. This hope and belief gave him the strength and courage he needed to survive, yet as the date approached and all the news reaching the camp did not support his prophecy, he became disillusioned. On 29th March he suddenly became ill and ran a fever. He was dead by 31 March. This is a clear and blunt example of how interconnected the mind and body really are: the loss of this man’s hope and belief led to his death.
Frankl survived the horrors of the camps by using the power of his imagination and by creating an inner world that allowed him to visualise the freedom and survival of both himself and his wife, who was in a different camp. Unfortunately, she did not survive but Frankl’s positive belief system kept him mentally strong and helped him to survive the unimaginable.
Please take a moment now to practice using the power of your imagination in the following positive visualisation. Read the following instructions then close your eyes and allow your imagination to work for you:
- Choose an event that is coming up that you are apprehensive about; it could be a presentation at work or college or a social occasion. It could even be something pivotal like an important interview or a major change in your life. Choose an event that conjures up feelings of dread, worry or something that you really wish you could avoid. Whatever it is, please make sure that when you think of the event you identify both best case scenario (healthy nerves) and worst case scenario (high anxiety).
- Visualise the numbers 0-10 in front of you and identify the numbers that represent various feelings of nervousness or anxiety over the event with 0 being very calm and positive and 10 being a state of high anxiety.
- Now imagine three positive emotions that will help you to make the event go really well – make a mental note of these three positive emotions that you wish to feel in the lead up to and when you enter the event.
- Close your eyes and start to imagine the event unfolding exactly the way you want it to. For example, if it is a presentation, imagine yourself performing incredibly well, being clear, confident and calm. Imagine the audience’s positive reaction to you as you deliver your message passionately. Use your three positive emotions as the anchors of how you are going to feel on the day of the event. It is essential to invest as much belief in the mental rehearsal as possible. Think of it as if it is really happening. The more you can feel it and believe it the greater the result.
- Use all of your five senses to bring yourself to that place. What can you see? Hear? Smell? Imagine the touch of the door handle as you enter the space, confidently. Hear your own voice being calm and clear. Really allow your imagination to start to work for you and visualise the best version of yourself. Imagine yourself being able to go with the flow, if the situation changes or something doesn’t go exactly according to plan.
- Before you open your eyes, see the scale in front of you from 0-10. 0 represents positive emotions and confidence and 10 represents any fear or anxiety. This number will definitely have gone down from when you first thought of it and you will notice a positive shift in how you now feel about this event.
- Repeat the above steps as many times as you can before the event until you feel positive, calm and in control.
Many of us unintentionally use the power of our imagination to our detriment and go through life worrying about things that never happen, seeing ourselves being nervous and comparing ourselves unfavourably to others. By using positive mental visualisations you are consciously taking charge of the incredible gift of your imagination in a way that allows you to reach your full potential and to bring out the best that is in you, no matter what the situation or what challenge life offers.
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