Recently I’ve been thinking about how much we have been told we can’t do something and so often we accept it and don’t do what our hearts desire on this basis. I started to reflect on how often I’ve been told I can’t do something and the times I proved them wrong but also the times I accepted it and I looked back to regret it.
My first memory in primary school I started playing football a few years later than my friends. I was told I’d never make the team with the lack of years of experience. (Yes, even at that age!) So, I trained and trained at home, in school, on the training field and guess what? I made the team.
Move onto secondary school, I tried out for the school play and I really thought I’d get it because I had lead roles in primary school. Turns out (and subsequently I had been told) they already made their minds up who they wanted for the roles based on teachers’ favourites. When I went into the audition, they didn’t even give me a chance. I gave up and never tried again even though it was something I enjoyed.
All my life I loved singing; photos taken to prove it mid song when I was a kid! When I was told by someone close to me that I was a bad singer and insisted I was, I thought it must be true. I stopped singing and felt conscious every time I quietly sang along to my favourite song. Years later I was forced to do Karaoke (yes forced against my will!) on a night out. People started saying to me I did a good job and meant it, I was shocked. I started singing again and aspire to be the next Beyonce! (jokes) but I’m just happy that I get to sing and who knows what might happen? Either way I’m having fun again doing what I enjoy.
I’ve learned that always listening to other people and taking their opinion as law isn’t always the right thing to do. A lot of the time I believe people put you down due to their own silent jealousy. It might not even be intentional, and they may not realise they are doing it themselves but believe me it’s there. In work perhaps someone senior trying to knock you down so that you don’t know your value to get that increase or promotion or even perhaps they themselves were threatened by you. In school, teachers not pushing you to reach your potential because they don’t believe you can do it, when you know you can. In friends saying something that wasn’t encouraging to other friends because they might be a little jealous of them.
While constructive feedback is always welcome (to be fair you wouldn’t want to hit up the X factor if you did sound like a banshee!) I would advise don’t make a decision based on one person’s opinion. Get a second or third opinion. If that first opinion is always consistently negative don’t take it anymore. If your opinion is different to all the other opinions, then do it anyway! Go with your gut. Who cares? As long as you try it, you won’t regret it, but you will regret not trying it.
Stop saying you can’t do something. You can! Anything is possible. You can get that promotion, you can get that dream job, you can reach that goal weight, you can get on stage and sing, you can make the team, you can travel the world, you can can can! No more can’t, no more talking yourself out of doing something you know you want to do because someone told you it’s not a good idea or you think it’s too big a goal for you. Make small steps towards the goal work on it every day to keep you motivated. Tick it off when it’s done and enjoy every minute! :)
Does this sound familiar to you? Have there been things you’ve been putting off because you felt you couldn’t do it?
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