New Year’s Resolutions: change is optional

We have just celebrated Christmas, some people were filled with joy and excitement, while others may have struggled for one reason or another and are glad it’s over. I know many people are thinking ahead to the new year and what changes they might bring to their life to enhance it and try to make it better in some way.

There might be pressure to make all these drastic changes with New Year’s Resolutions just because the date changes from 2018 to 2019 – but honestly – that’s rubbish. Nobody has to change anything – if there’s something you want to change, feel free to do so – but if there isn’t – you can just keep doing what you’re doing. There are 365 days in a year, and you can choose any one of those days to make any change you want – your changes do not have to be confined within the first 31 days of the year. I also think that if anyone really wants to make changes in their life, they don’t need to wait for a new year or anything else for that matter to go out and accomplish it. If I’m being honest – I think if there’s something that you really want, nobody can stop you.

Bearing all of this in mind – I also completely understand the challenges of mental health and the struggle to change anything within yourself. It may be good to do some mindfulness and check in with yourself to see where you’re at with everything. If there is any New Year’s Resolutions you want to make, be honest with yourself on what is realistically achievable. I feel like it is so much better to take one step at a time and slowly build yourself up than over work yourself and end up back at square one. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, and if one change is all you can handle right now – that’s ok. If you think you can’t handle any change right now – that’s ok too.

I’m a big believer in making the most of every moment and really trying your best – but with mental health challenges – sometimes just surviving is something worth celebrating. Any change takes effort, and with any mental health struggle thrown in there too – it can multiply the effort by any number depending on what the person is dealing with. What may be a step for one person may feel like a hike to another person. That doesn’t mean we can’t achieve what anyone else can – but the accomplishment might just come with a lot more hurdles than what other people have to face. Sometimes it’s the extra hurdles that take away any extra energy to put towards moving forward, and sometimes it’s the fall from a hurdle that propels you forward to not give up on what you want. Regardless of what happens or where you’re at – there is no right or wrong way as long as you are surviving.

This train of thought is coming from a place that – any time I have made any significant change in my life – it was always from something so much bigger than it just being a different year. It was always something which was unfortunately painful, where I was kind of forced to make the change, and it wasn’t pretty, but it made my life better in the end. That’s not to say that changes can’t happen if you’re in a good place, but I think you need a really good reason that motivates you so much more than it just being a new year. So with this thought in mind, I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to make any New Years resolutions at all, and if they don’t, I don’t want anyone to feel bad about it. Changes can happen if you want them to happen, as you are in control of what you really want to do.

I once hated exercise, until I had no choice but to try it in my daily routine because I tried everything else to improve my state of mind and nothing else worked – and I was really desperate to feel better. I also had a sense of anger in me that I didn’t want to feel the way I felt anymore for another second, which kind of propelled me forward to not give up on finding something that actually did work to help me. It was really tough in the beginning – but once I exercised enough I discovered what is probably the best natural remedy for me and my anxiety and emotions, and I actually learned to love it over time. I even love exercise on the days that I’m feeling ok, which I never thought I would ever say!

I also almost gave up on trying to be the best version of me and was ready to stop trying to improve anything else in my life – I thought I was ok to settle for what I had achieved already and leave it at that. This is because at one point I was just exhausted both mentally and physically, but with that exhaustion, I realized that I was trying to be the best version of me for other people and not for myself. This moment was bittersweet as it was sad but also self-motivating and inspiring at the same time. I have now reached a point where although I think I haven’t reached my peak yet – I’m working my way up there for me and nobody else. Knowing that I’m doing it for me now kind of naturally give me more energy and motivation to go achieve what I want. There are still changes and improvements I want to make in my life – but I’m also trying to be mindful to not overwhelm myself with anything. I get big rushes of motivation sometimes, and other times it’s an accomplishment to just get through my daily routine – which I do celebrate those days as well, as I have learned to acknowledge and appreciate the extra effort I put in to just complete my daily routine on the days that anxiety throws me off. I know I’m still trying my best and if I wasn’t able to do anything extra for myself, I am more than ok with that – it took a while to get to this place and not be hard on myself, but therapy has taught me to be kinder to myself.

So with New Year’s approaching, take a moment to reflect on how you are, and if there are changes you want to make – bear in mind what is realistically achievable for you, and think strategically to plan how you’re going to do it, as once there’s a plan in place it’s easier to make it happen. Changes can happen any day of the year, and nobody has to change anything – but if you do want to change something, I wish you the best of luck on your journey as you build yourself up!