‘You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf’ – Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mindfulness involves learning to direct our attention to each experience as it unfolds, moment by moment, with open-minded curiosity and acceptance. Rather than ruminating on what has happened in the past, or worrying about what may happen in the future, it trains us to respond skilfully to whatever is happening right now, be it bad or good.
It is part of coming to terms with your own mind, instead of being controlled by your senses and desires. The technique draws on the breathing exercises commonly used in meditation and yoga, but there the comparison ends.
Brain imaging studies show that mindfulness practice alters the structure and function of the brain. These changes appear to be linked to improved concentration, mood regulation and ability to choose appropriate responses. They have also been connected to improved immune function. It has often been described as ‘The bicep curl for the brain’ – we workout our bodies in the gym to keep them strong and fit, so how do we workout our brains? The answer is by practicing mindfulness.
I had practiced very little mindfulness on and off for years. In 2013 I was forced to close my pre-school business down. I can honestly say this was the ‘the lowest point in my life’. Family members suggested my seeing someone and starting anti-depressants. I knew myself that it was my lost sense of purpose that was causing my depression. I started a temporary job and I really threw myself into the practice of mindfulness.
I participated in an 8 week MBSR – Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course and gave 30 – 40 minutes each day to formal meditation practice. I cannot recommend the MBSR course highly enough, not just for those going through trying times but for anyone who wishes to emotionally and physically connect more with the here and now.
Family and friends began to notice a difference in my behaviour firstly, saying I seemed so much calmer and less engaged in worrying thoughts. I noticed that I was becoming resilient to the challenges that I faced, and I was able to take time out before reacting. When dealing with difficult people, I felt compassion and empathy for them, rather than dislike. I noticed that I was sleeping so much better at night. I had stopped ruminating over past experiences, and stopped worrying about what was yet to come. I had also stopped comparing myself to others. I now saw my ‘failed’ business as a ‘credit to me, a risk that I was brave enough to take, a great lesson learned, something which benefited others immensely’: the mindfulness practice was indeed training my brain to live more presently.
It was then that I thought ‘I wish I had learned this as a child’. Having 20 years of experience working with children and being a Childcare Tutor, I knew that this was my calling.
I set up Mindful Kids Ireland. I trained to teach mindfulness to children with The Mindfulness in Schools Programme, in The Centre for Mindfulness Research and Practice, Bangor University, Wales. I travel around primary schools in the north east and border counties teaching mindfulness techniques to children using the ‘paws.b’ curriculum (pause, breathe and be).
My aim is for our children to become more aware of thoughts and feelings, in a non-judgmental way, so that instead of being overwhelmed by them, they can manage them better. The benefits of Mindfulness for children are better focus and concentration, increased calm, decreased stress and anxiety, improved impulse control, skilful ways to respond to difficult emotion, increased self-awareness, increased empathy and understanding of others, and greater overall well-being. The Dalai Lama is quoted for saying “If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation”.
Paws.b is a twelve session mindfulness course for primary schools, based on six themes. It was carefully crafted by classroom teachers and mindfulness experts to engage young children. It is taught using striking visuals, film clips and activities that bring mindfulness to life. Paws.b is not boring, hippy dippy, religious or therapy. Students learn how to aim and sustain their attention as well as recognise the role that attention plays in their school work, their relationships and in the way they communicate, both at school and at home. Children who take part in this course also come away with a really clear understanding of 4 key areas of the brain that we know can be developed and work together as a team. This is the neuro-scientific content and is a key feature to the Paws.b curriculum.
We will all experience difficulties at some stage in our lives, but if we can develop skills that allow us to ride through the stormy times, or even change our relationship with them, the potential for flourishing is increased immeasurably.