Anxiety can be triggered in us all and I don’t doubt we’ve all experienced it in some form or another. When I used to read stories of people who suffered badly with anxiety I used to wonder how can this happen? This state of stress and pain caused by something that made someone’s daily tasks impossible. I thought it would never happen to me.
However about a year ago I did get to a breaking point. I didn’t know what it was at the time but it was consuming. I was thinking of every situation in a negative light, constantly thinking the worst of everything and everyone around me. I can only describe it as a heavy weight but I wasn’t able to pin point what was wrong but I knew this wasn’t me. I knew it was finally something I needed to address and stop ignoring.
On the outside I had a good job, good social life, good health, always off somewhere new at weekends and trips away. I had every evening filled up with something to do or somewhere to go. I had just come back from a great holiday in Vietnam but I felt more miserable than ever and I wasn’t able to understand it.
I spoke with my sister and we talked a few things out. It turned out she had been worried for a while – I just didn’t see it! I took some time to myself and I dug deep. There were issues that I hadn’t dealt with. My mam had passed away in 2015 and for 2 years I just jam packed my evenings, weekends and life with meeting people, taking on hobbies always organising the next place to go. I was trying to live in the moment with a “yolo” attitude to everything because I felt life was too short and this is what mam would want.
However, this schedule actually gave me no time to rest or time to think about the life changing event that had just occurred and I ended up burning out. I took action and ended up cancelling everything that I had committed to for a few weeks. I just focused on techniques to help me through. This is where I learned the techniques for managing stress and the anxiety (see blog post) I took time out to breathe and focus on what made me feel like this. I made changes that I needed to make. I changed job, cancelled the 100 hobbies I signed up to and focused on one or two that made me happy. I learned to take a break and I learned to think and deal with my thoughts.
Even though I have learned techniques to deal with anxiety, I now know it’s not something that goes away. For me, it can be the result of overthinking, over analysing and worrying way too much about situations I can’t change. I work on it a lot and don’t let it take over but it does creep up on me every now and again. I allow the thoughts in, but not to let them consume me. I think is there something I can do about it? If not, I let it go.
It’s something I’ll always have to deal with but I’m ok with it now and I understand it more. I take the break, go for walks, enjoy nature and the good things in life. It’s not easy but it is manageable now.
Does this sound like you? Do you take on too much to ignore what’s going on in the background? Do you constantly feel miserable, under pressure or in a constant state of worry? I assure you it’s nothing to be ashamed of. However, it is important to deal with how you feel and not to ignore it thinking “all will be grand”. There’s plenty of help out there if needed, please avail of it. Whether it is the EAP (Employee Assistance Programme) in work, calling a helpline or confiding in a friend, I assure you it’s worth it and it will help.
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