Many of us spend so much of our conscious and subconscious neural energy on rumination, doubt, worry, stress and concern. These negative emotions literally zap our brains full capabilities and dumb us down.
If you have ever tried to focus in an important meeting while still reeling from an earlier domestic conflict, you will know what this feels like: you are ‘a million miles away’ and struggle to stay alert to take in what you are supposed to be listening to. The truth is that your brain is working so hard to simply pick up even 10 per cent of what is being discussed and you take longer to answer and formulate your sentences. This type of communication can give an incorrect representation of your intelligence and abilities. The more you focus on negative thinking, the more your brain will create synapses and neurons to support the negative thought process.
In short, negative thinking can make us appear – and more importantly feel – stupid and slow, and this erodes our self-esteem.
In children, the subconscious and conscious minds are merged; analytical thinking has not yet been developed. The age of reason and questioning occurs at around seven years old and this is when the conscious and the subconscious minds start to drift apart. Children under seven often can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality which is why they are so open to believing in the tooth fairy and so on.
The subconscious does not question or analyse and early messages given to us before the age of seven play a significant role in how we view ourselves in the world. A good example of this is the character of Colin in ‘The Secret Garden’ by Frances Hodgson Burnett. In the story, Colin is told from an early age that he cannot walk due to an undiagnosed problem with his spine. He believes what he is told and as a result he literally cannot walk and lies in bed all day and every day. He is depressed and has no desire to live. It is only through the relationship with his cousin Mary and her encouragement to get him to visit the secret garden that he starts to believe he can and will walk. As his belief changes, so does his ability to walk. The positive connection with Mary and finding a purpose that is outside of himself drives him forward to change his unfortunate circumstances until he believes that will ‘‘live forever and ever and ever’’.
Let go of unwanted past conditioning to tap into your full potential
The full positive potential of your mind and of your capabilities lie deep within your subconscious mind where the default setting is to thrive, not just survive. Your pathway to freedom is through letting go of unwanted negative thought patterns and beginning a voyage of self-discovery regarding your belief systems and early conditioning. This can help you return to your natural default state which will give you the freedom to enjoy a life where you nurture unconditional love for yourself.
The brain has a negativity bias that was developed to protect our predecessors from danger; this mammalian brain (the oldest part) is programmed to protect you from threat and is easily activated into fear. However, the modern brain has highly developed pre-frontal lobes that can be used to help distinguish between rational and irrational fear. So let’s use this capacity to move away from reactive fear and begin to realise your positive potential.
To start the process of moving away from preconditioned, negative thought patterns, imagine that you are helping someone who is very close to you, someone you love deeply – your best friend, a parent, your own child if you have one, or even yourself when you were a child. You now have an opportunity to become your own parent and guardian and to give yourself all the love and safety that is required in order to flourish and to access your full potential.
You were not born with negative thought patterns, the tendency to ruminate or to think the worst. In fact, the converse is true – we are all born with an open and positive mind-set and a strong drive to survive. No baby is born with low self-esteem yet how many adults suffer from this? If we make an early secure attachment to a parent or guardian this can concrete our ability to think positively. However, as we grow up we can lose this ability through difficult life experiences and by negative conditioning from figures of authority such as parents and teachers. It is easy to fall into the habit of negativity. It is therefore very important to pay attention to what we say to children.
When you take the time to be kind, gentle and compassionate to the child who still lives within your subconscious, when you show yourself patience and kindness (especially when negative thoughts occur) you will be amazed by your true positive potential. As Thomas Edison said: “If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves’’
With a positive mind-set you have unlimited potential.