Almost everyone will experience mental health difficulties. How could they not? Our mental health comes under pressure at times of stress. At times of loss. And those experiences are part of living so all of us know what it is to struggle.
Yet so many of us feel unable to talk about it. Feel unable to admit it even to our closest friends and family. Why is this?
For me, the reasons why we try to hide mental health difficulties are complex. Firstly it’s a deeply personal thing and many of us find it hard to talk about the private inner working of our heads.
Some people believe it to be a sign of weakness. They’ve heard the narrative so many times about pulling yourself together that they think the fact that they can’t – reflects badly on them. Not realising perhaps that no one can drag themselves out of depression or anxiety. That’s the whole point.
If it was something you could just snap out of – it wouldn’t really be much of a big deal now would it? Plus because you feel so awful when you’re suffering from depression or anxiety – as bad if not worse than people suffering with heart disease or kidney problems – if there was any way you could make yourself feel better – you would. But it doesn’t work like that. Unfortunately it isn’t something you can snap out of.
It isn’t a weakness. It’s an illness.
Would you hide the fact that you had cancer?
And then of course there’s the stigma. Throughout history people struggling with their mental health have been stigmatised and treated badly – often by others attempting to deflect away any conversation around their own mental health. This has resulted in thousands of people unwilling to admit when they have a mental health issue, let alone entertain the idea of treatment or therapy for it.
I’ve a patient who drives to a chemist two towns away, to get her anti–depression medication so that the local pharmacy – where she gets her other medications, won’t know she’s taking it. Think about that.
Whatever the reasons, despite the fact that almost everyone will have mental health issues – it still remains something that’s very hard to talk about. Which of course means people struggling, feeling cut off, isolated and alone with their problems – trapped and unable to discuss them and often unable to seek help.
That’s such a shame because there is loads and loads of help available, and people like me who work in the area of mental health are never going to be judgemental, are never going to be shocked by how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking, are never going to agree with you…. that there’s nothing that can be done. That this is the way it’s always going to be. That feeling like shit all the time, is as good as it gets. It’s not.
There are many different roads you can take to improve your mental health. Exercise is as effective as anti-depressants in mild to moderate depression. Lifestyle change makes a difference; getting a routine together, eating better. Talking therapies like counselling, cognitive behavioural therapy and psychology. And for some medication works. No one ever wants that but it can be game changing and if it’s what you need you shouldn’t close your mind to it.
But the first step is recognising you’re struggling. The second is to look for help. No matter how daunting that feels when you’re really low – it’s amazing, how the simple act of telling the right person you’re feeling down and you want to do something about it, improves your mood. It’s like taking the power back from the illness and putting yourself back in control. It lightens your burden, makes you feel proactive and gives you hope. All just by reaching out. It’s hard but it’s possible.
Help information
If you need to talk to someone please contact:
- Samaritans 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
- Pieta House 01 601 0000 or email mary@pieta.ie – (suicide, self-harm)
- yourmentalhealth.ie
- Aware 1800 80 48 48 (depression, anxiety)
- National Suicide Helpline 1800 247 247 – (suicide prevention, self-harm, bereavement)
If living in Ireland you can find accredited therapists in your area here:
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