I don’t tend to watch the news as it’s usually negative and doesn’t add anything to my existence. I am however finding myself following the Ana Kriegel murder trial. On the news they discussed how in an interview one of the boys described Anna as a weird, unusual child who was much more developed than other girls. According to him, everyone knew she was different, and “not popular”.
In a Relax Kids’ class recently I noticed a very heavy energy among the class. A deep separation among some of the kiddies. You notice these things when you are playing games or during the massage section. Basically, three girls were standing together, and one child guided the other to separate them, gently but firmly leaving one girl in space all alone. The expression on the instigators face was obvious, let’s leave her out, she’s not with us. The child who was left alone actually shed a tear. Very simple action but deeply hurtful. Most of the class noticed this interaction but nobody responded. Rightly or wrongly leaving me to believe that it’s on some level accepted, the norm not unusual.
On another occasion, I requested that two boys’ pair up in a class. The class laughed; one boy got so embarrassed he could have powered a city for a day with the energy of it. The other boy in a proud stern voice proclaimed, “I don’t mix with him”. Take a moment, imagine that the embarrassed boy is your child. I for one can feel the pain of that. Soul destroying and heart-breaking. I inquired after class what was going on, the response was that they were having an ongoing problem with two boys bullying the embarrassed child. Leaving him out, making animal noises when he was asked to speak in class. Basically, treating him like he was less than them, unpopular, weird and unusual.
As a mum, Relax Kids Coach and a human being, every cell in my body had a strong almost violent reaction to the lack of response that bullying is met with. Am I the only person who feels ill and sick to the pit of my stomach at the impact these seemingly innocent behaviours can have on another child? Why is it culturally okay to treat another like they are less than us? Where, when does the group norm go wrong? What is the need in these children to behave like that towards another human being? Who needs more help, care, love and compassion, the bully or the bullied? When do we need to escalate our response to what can begin as innocent behaviour?
I urge you to answer these questions from your own heart. Is this type of behaviour happening under your watch? Can you do more, if yes then do. Do something that communicates to these children that their behaviour is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Search for the solutions for all children involved. I am a farmer’s daughter and was brought up to respect life in all its shapes, sizes and forms. Additionally, we were taught that nobody was better or worse than us. I smile at the memory of my mum telling me that everybody must sit on the toilet including the President. Is it possible that a life may not have been so terribly extinguished had somebody broken that culture of difference, translating into another human being viewed as less valuable or worthy?
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