Everything that a person experiences, their thoughts, tastes, smells, sounds, feelings; all of it requires underlying neural activity in the brain. This neural activity happening in the brain is the activity that happens between the neurons that are there and these neurons make connections with each other, the connections developing patterns over time.
Therefore, what we experience early on and what our mind gives focus to, turns into a pattern and these patterns can become a person’s habit. A child can develop a habit of seeing things and interpreting things in a way that makes them feel good or maybe not so good. In that way, what the child gives focus to impacts on how they each experience life.
While everyone is different and has a different way of thinking and looking at things, it is worth considering how we can influence children to begin to think about ways to mind their own mental health as they grow. Parents can provide opportunities for children to focus on little things that can help them feel emotionally well. And with the school holidays almost upon us, one simple way to do this with children is to suggest a ‘Summer Project’ which involves the following activity – hugging the people at home. With this project, children have the opportunity to learn about the hormone Oxytocin, what the benefit of Oxytocin is and how Oxytocin can be produced by them in their body. They also learn indirectly that learning how to mind their mental health can be fun and as Oxytocin promotes good bonding, then siblings will quite possibly be fighting less.
Oxytocin is an anti-anxiety hormone produced naturally in the body and one of the ways to get your body to release it is to hug someone you care about for an extended period of at least 15 seconds. I explained this to my own kids a few Summers ago and the ‘Project’ or experiment they did simply involved each of the kids hugging each sibling for a period of 15 seconds to see if they could feel this hormone being released inside their body. The project with two 6 year olds and an 8 year old lasted for a week, and it proved to be a fun way for them to learn about Oxytocin. They felt the release of the hormone which they really loved and they got on better with each other once the project began.
Hugs don’t usually last that long unless a person is perhaps saying hello or goodbye after an extended period of absence and as a behaviour, the quick hugs make sense as it would not be at the point of greeting someone with a hug that you may feel the need for a hit of Oxytocin to quell anxiety. But extended hugs are good for mental health and in a fun way at home, I wanted my kids to learn that there are very simple things they can do to mind their own mental health as they grow.
Two years on from them first hearing about the hormone Oxytocin, extended hugs to release the hormone have become habit. And I’m glad because when children are young, whatever they rest their attention upon can become lasting habits for life. Oxytocin is a powerful hormone that plays a significant role in increasing bonding between people so as well as learning about minding their mental health, any sibling group will have the chance to develop stronger pair bonds with each other and hostility between them can therefore be reduced. Sometimes it’s the little things that can have a lasting impact. Summer provides an ideal opportunity to try out this little thing. Knowing how to mind your mental health matters.
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