In the fourth part of our series on ‘How to Mind Yourself’, we asked Occupational Psychologist and friend of A Lust for Life Louize Carroll about how she takes care of herself and her mental health.
If you’d like to read more about self care, here’s the first, second and third part of the series.
Louize, what does self-care mean to you?
As life evolves, self-care as a concept is becoming more and more relevant and critical in my everyday life. What it means to me personally, is ‘time out’, solitude, a space where my needs come first (without guilt), even for 10 minutes, a time when I stop to refuel my body and my mind (this can mean a sudden awareness of uncomfortable feelings, but the key is allowing them to be there). In a world that operates at high speed, and a lifestyle that follows suit, it is the only possible way that I can ensure I’m resilient enough to bounce back from any curve balls that fling themselves in my direction!
What does your daily routine look like, and how do you integrate ways to mind your mental health?
My typical morning begins at 8am. I am so ridiculously not a morning person and even though Ted Talks tells me to bound out of bed without hitting the snooze button and make my bed to nail the first achievement of your day – I bluntly fail that task. However, since the start of this year, I have been using guided mindfulness meditations in the morning and I have found this to be an incredible way of steadying myself for the day ahead. I will do 10-20 minutes of meditation in the morning and then head off to work. If I find myself getting stressed during the day, I’ll just take 5 minutes out, and focus on my breath again. I get that the media is slightly saturated with talk of the benefits of meditation, which can be off-putting instead of encouraging, but if you feel open to even giving it a go, I can’t recommend it enough. If you stick with it regularly, the benefits can actually start to make you feel a bit smug that you’ve discovered a secret to helping you ‘keep your head’ in tough situations. But, in all seriousness, its benefit has been an increase in resilience and in the regulation of difficult emotions.
What are the habits that make the biggest difference to your mental health?
I must admit self-care was something I personally tended to neglect and deprioritize in favour of jamming work and obligations, social and otherwise, into all the available hours in the day. It’s very easy to rationalize that this is a better use of time when life is so jammed. But, not making time for self-care, for time uninterrupted by phones and humans and multiple varieties of guilt and responsibilities, can lead to a growing bubble of internal and external resentment, chaotic and confused thinking, loss of focus and ultimately a lack of drive for things that you once used to enjoy. We cannot operate without any fuel and yet we frequently expect our fuel reserves to power our lives at full capacity. Think of it like this, when a tank is low on juice in a car, it starts to pull up dirt and air into the engine, the car begins to stutter, the drive isn’t smooth, and eventually it can break down. Fuel your inner tank lads.
Are there any other ways in which you make time to ‘mind yourself’ on a regular basis?
Digital Detoxes! Mindfulness meditation is becoming more and more important because it can help to counteract the effects of our exposure to the online world – in particular, social media and its incessant assault on the senses, thoughts and feelings.
One of the core issues as I see it, is that online interaction has become so unrelenting. When I began to notice that the phone was in my hand and messages were open before I was even fully conscious of the fact, I knew I needed to make a change. It requires willpower. And a bloody lot of it. The subtle seemingly innocuous glow of the phone lighting up, the inviting ping of a message, lights up the reward centers of our brains. It’s a little shot of dopamine. But it’s short term pleasure in exchange for a pervasive sense of distractibility and unrest along with anxious and unfocused living.
On the evenings when I’m at home, I’m making a habit of putting the phone away to allow myself to engage in reading a book fully or watching a movie fully – to be present with what is directly on front of me. It’s a small change, but the result has been a greater sense of connectedness and steadiness within.
Are there things you say ‘no’ to that help you?
Time has afforded me a better sense of what my needs are in any given moment. And more so the courage to identify and assert those needs. I have observed through client contact, that a small part of the Irish culture manifests sometimes with a sense that it’s sometimes selfish to put yourself first, the result being, I have noticed an element of guilt associated with attending to your own needs.
The ability to tune into the sense of what YOU need is critical for a healthy life, one, I might point out, that can then enable you to more effectively help and support others. If we don’t set boundaries around our time, it will slip through our hands in ways in which we never intended. Saying ‘No’ is hard to do. It’s boody difficult to turn down events you know will be fun in favour of giving ourselves a chance to decompress and the opportunity for mind and body to reconnect with each other. But saying ‘No’, will make all the things you say deliberately and mindfully YES to, far more worthwhile, where you can show up fully present and fully connected to what is around you.
If someone is starting out to try and bring some meaningful self-care into their routine, what advice might you give them?
Read The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron. It changed my life and kicked me into prioritizing time for myself. It’s not just for artists, since the tasks and knowledge contained within it apply to anyone looking to meaningfully connect or reconnect with themselves and their purpose in this life. Cameron gets you to have a date with yourself every week. It’s the rule. And it’s amazing. Do it.
Have you any advice on sustaining good habits?
Good habits get sustained the same way as bad habits. If you keep repeating something enough, it will stick. (It’s just that bad habits can be easier and more enjoyable in the short term to repeat). When your drive for change begins to outweigh your fear of change, you’ve gotten a free pass into the driving seat. Feel the power of the drive. Stay with these feelings, be cognizant of them, hold them in your awareness. When you get shaky, remember the reasons for why you wanted to change in the first place. Write them down. Set goals. Begin with small, realistic goals that function as stepping stones in order to reach the lofty long term goal. Read them every day. There will be distractions, temptations, FUN, parties, FUN, trips, social gatherings, FUN… ask yourself each time, is this helping me to reach my goal? But above all, there has to be balance. Don’t be hard on yourself, be compassionate towards yourself too, give yourself a break, and do not forget to fill that fuel tank.
BIO
Louize is a Chartered Occupational Psychologist with a special interest in working with adults and young adults who are in creative industries, and is a member of A Lust for Life’s Mental Health Advisory Panel. Qualified with a Master’s Degree in Social and Organisational Psychology from UCD, she has over 10 years of experience working as a mental health professional along with several peer-reviewed publications. A chartered member of the Psychological Society of Ireland (PSI), the Division of Work and Organisational Psychologists (DWOP), and the British Psychological Society, Louize focuses on the provision of support for people in a way that is person-centered, solution focused and utilizes coaching techniques with an approach based on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).
Louize spent a large part of her career working as a purveyor for mental health systems change for young people in Ireland through her work in Jigsaw – The National Centre for Youth Mental Health, and was a core contributor in the establishment and evolution of this not-for-profit organisation founded by Dr. Tony Bates. Central to her role was the development and implementation of a youth-centered and community-based collaborative approach in order for local services to provide young people with integrated, accessible and appropriate mental health support. Core to this was the intensive coordination of community- and government level relationships.
In addition, she has 15 years of experience working as a musician and a composer, and has a keen understanding and informed professional approach towards the challenges that face individuals who are working to carve out a creative career, or who are struggling within industries that demand creativity, self-motivation, passion and inherent exposure to public judgement. She also works with any individual who feels ‘stuck’ in their career, and those who are seeking a more satisfying life path.
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