As the summer holidays are in full swing, Tyler Jacobson gives some useful advice for getting your teenager out of their room and to participate in family time.
A report in 2015 found that teenagers spent around nine hours a day consuming some kind of media, mostly online – which has probably only increased since then. That could be for various reasons… some may have been listening to music while doing homework, some researching media for class, etc. But a big chunk of it is entertainment, such as binge watching Netflix, or playing video games.
Social media is also high on that list. While there are some positive aspects to sites like Instagram and Snapchat, social media use has been linked to depression and self-esteem issues.
Getting away from screens is important for overall health, as well. Which is why it is important to help our teens focus on the little things in life and get them away from their computers and phones for a while.
Teaching them to recognise what is around them and appreciate what they have is the best way to combat the negative effects of the world they live in. Plus, it is a great way for them to practice self-care.
Here are some ways we can help them as parents.
Make Mealtimes Family Time
We all know that proper nutrition is a pretty critical part of mental and emotional health. But what we eat isn’t all there is to it; how we eat can be just as important. Sitting down with family and having at least one meal a day is a fantastic way of connecting, sharing and relaxing.
Insist that once a day everyone pitches in and sets the table, prepares an item for the meal, or even that you all take turns cooking for one another. Settle in without any phones or other electronics. Sitting in front of the television and watching the latest episode of whatever Marvel series you are obsessed with doesn’t count. You want to encourage interaction, conversation and one-on-one fun time.
Volunteer Together
It is true what they say: nothing makes you appreciate what you have more than seeing people who have less. Volunteering gives others a sense of compassion, empathy and joy as they look beyond themselves and help someone else.
My own family will pick one cause every month and spend a weekend afternoon helping out for some related organization. We take turns choosing where we go, so we alternate between reading to the elderly at nursing homes, volunteering at the animal shelter or feeding the homeless at the local soup kitchen.
Every time we go to one of these charity afternoons, my family walks away feeling accomplished and closer to one another. It has been an amazing method of keeping all of our perspectives realistic. We are more grateful for what we have, including one another.
Encourage Them to Leave Their Room
Some teens seem to be gone out and about constantly. Others are rarely seen peeking beyond their bedroom door. For those who are more isolated, start encouraging them to get out of their comfort zone. Go with them on walks, or push them to join an extracurricular activity.
Inviting their friends along to family events can also help. Every few weeks my older kids and I hit up a trail and go on a hike. We ask their friends if they want to come and I end up in an SUV with five or six teens eating trail mix and taking photos for their Instagram feeds.
Since their friends started to tag along with us, my kids have been complaining less about being dragged from their beds. Even if we end up going early in the morning.
Go On Family Outings
Quality time is more important than the quantity of time. So even if you are busy, try and schedule some kind of family outing once a week where you can all get out into the world and do something fun and interesting together. See a movie, go to a museum, take a hike, get coffee with a local meetup, check out a convention.
You don’t have to spend a fortune. In fact, quality family time doesn’t have to cost you a thing. Put together a picnic with what is in the fridge and head to a nearby park. Bring along a frisbee or your bikes/rollerblades. Set up some board games in the living room.
One of my two daughters favorite activities are playing soccer in the park, or basketball in our driveway. Both of my sons love to go to the nearby nickel arcade, which only costs us a few bucks to play together for hours. My wife likes to make iced coffee, juice and cookies and sit outside in the grass as a family, just talking. Sometimes it is the simplest activities that make the most memorable ones.
Get Out and Appreciate Life
It doesn’t take much to help your teenager see the importance of the little things in life. With a bit of quality time you will begin to notice a marked change in your teen and their behavior. It is amazing what a little adjustment to perspective can do.