If there’s one thing that most students feel when they first come to college, it’s the sense of being completely overwhelmed. School can’t quite prepare them for the sheer, alien feeling of higher education, especially because it’s the first time in life that our children get to feel like they truly have to manage things on their own and finally step into adulthood. As parents, we’re filled both with pride and anxiety, and we have an understandably strong urge to do something, anything, to make this transition easier. To help you out, we’ve prepared a few tips that explain how to be there for your child without overstepping boundaries.
More freedom and more responsibilities
The first thing you need to do is finally retire that helicopter and let your child learn how to deal with challenges on their own. College is different from high school because it gives its students more freedom, but it also gives them a lot more responsibilities. The study material is more difficult, and while they might have more free time and less homework initially, they need to learn how to manage their own time if they want to avoid the biggest college pitfall – procrastination. If you’re always there to tell them what to do, where to go, and what comes next, then college will eat them alive. Teaching your child how to be organised is something you can do very early on, and this one skill, along with stubborn willpower, is the foundation of education. It’s not intelligence that’s the most important bit at all. No, it’s time management more than anything else. So, teach them that studying for half an hour every single day and revising their notes often will get them a lot further than sitting down to cram one week before their exams.
Failure can be a good thing
Parents of overachievers beware – your child might have been the big fish in a very small pond during high school, but once they come to college the pond is much, much larger. Students from all over the country converge to show off their brilliance, and your teenager might face feelings of inadequacy for the first time. However, instead of preaching that failure is not an option, teach them this: how to handle it. They will stumble at one point, so tell them that it’s okay, and that they can pick themselves up and fix a mistake. Failure is an essential part of life, so don’t ever let it discourage them.
Asking for help
Knowing how and when to get help is a pretty useful skill to have, particularly for teens who want to get into a really good college. There’s a huge difference between you solving a problem for them, and you helping them reach their own solution, or find someone who can help them. Also, you can tell them about your own experiences with higher education. Above all, you should explain to them that asking for help doesn’t in any way mean they aren’t good enough to enroll a reputable college.
Healthy communication
If your child tells you that they need space, then give them space. Sometimes parents don’t know how to back off and respect boundaries, and while we do it out of love, it can still harm our children. Good communication is essential, so talk to your child openly and without being patronising. Transitioning to college will usually mean a degree of separation from them, so it’s very important that you establish an honest relationship and to let them know that you’ll always be there for them, no matter what. Try not to push them or nag too much, otherwise, they might not want to be straightforward with you when you call and ask them about their studies.
Teach them about self-care
One of the most important parts of being well-organised and full of energy is self-care. We need to know how to take care of ourselves and handle stress, and things like physical exercise, meditation, and hobbies can help a lot with our mental wellbeing. Whether your child turns to books or basketball when they’re nervous, encourage them to stick to these good habits and take some time for themselves every week to rest and recharge.
And above all, make sure they know that they will always find unconditional love and support at home. The first few months of college will be tough, but they will adjust and become stronger and more enduring if they know they always have a place to go back to, no matter what.
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