An important part of our sexual development occurs during our teenage years when our bodies begin to develop into adult bodies and we begin to act on urges we have. It is during this time that we explore unchartered waters, one awkward step at a time.
Many of us remember this as a time of excitement, embarrassment, curiosity, nervousness and exhilaration. However, many others of us remember this as a humiliating time when perhaps our sexual orientation was not as accepted as others.
Perhaps our interest was based solely on our same-sex classmates and we KNEW we could never even dare to reveal our true feelings – our natural, healthy, normal, instinctive feelings. Imagine the repercussions of having to hide our real selves to the world of others who just would not understand or feeling that you are the only one like you and have no one to talk to about this. Imagine the confusion, self-loathing, resentment, and strength needed just to keep going.
For today’s teenagers, the LGBT community is far more accepted than it was even ten years ago and we have come a long way as a society to understanding that being sexually diverse is perfectly acceptable. However, behind this new wave of modernity where LGBT adults are making a positive impact and teenagers are opened up to far more sexual choices than ever before, there is an up-and-coming generation of children who, for the first time in history, have all the information in the world at their finger-tips.
From a very young age, children today are familiar with what being gay means and fully understand that some people are born one gender but change their gender later on. Not only do our modern children know this, they are our most accepting generation because children are non-judgemental and they regard us based only on how we treat them.
As mental health advocates and practitioners, we meet with many children who are dealing with extreme anxiety because they are struggling to understand their sexual urges or fantasies. Sexual development begins before we are even born so it is no surprise that young children are acutely aware of input from their environment around gender roles, romantic love and sexual attraction.
Today, there is so much choice around sexuality that children question every little thought and feeling. It is perfectly normal when we are developing to go through phases of being attracted to same-sex friends and friends from the opposite sex, without either meaning that we are necessarily of one sexual orientation or the other.
As children, we are simply processing our emerging sexuality and figuring out what bodies and characteristics we are attracted to. However, this can cause enormous stress for a young child who is confused, embarrassed and unsettled with these fleeting phases, and is struggling to make sense of their feelings. It is vital as parents that we do our best to manage this anxiety and help them through this period as best we can – and with professional support if we need it.
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