According to StopBullying.gov, one in four school-aged children report that they have been the victim of bullying in the past.
Our reliance on technology isn’t helping. DoSomething.org reports that 68% of teenagers admit that cyber bullying is a real problem. Our kids used to be victims of targeting outside of the home. Now they are being tormented in the place where they should be safe: their own home. They carry a means of destroying their self-esteem right in their pockets in the form of a smartphone.
The Very Real Threat of Depression and Anxiety
Our children are under a great deal of stress, more so than past generations. Recent research has shown that their pressures are equal to that of adults. But teenagers don’t have the brain development, self-care knowledge, emotional maturity or experience to deal with it in nearly as effective a way as adults do.
That may explain why depression seems to be on the rise in children and teens. With suicide being the second leading cause of death in young people, it is critical that we do something.
Ending Bullying From The Inside
As adults, parents, teachers, and others who are involved in the lives of our children, it is our job to help end this harmful epidemic. However, we can’t be there 24-hours a day. We can’t protect our children from every hurt feeling or confront bullies when they appear.
What we can do is be proactive in teaching our kids to recognise and stand up to bullying. By raising young people to be brave and firm in the face of this behaviour, we can help stop bullying as it happens.
Practical Tips For Helping Young People Deal with Bullying
- Be Honest. Learning that your own child has been engaging in bullying behavior can be a hard pill to swallow. Ignoring or denying it, however, is only going to encourage them and lead to further bad behavior in the future. It is important that you accept and address these complaints and help your child understand the impact they can have on others and themselves.
- Teach the Signs. What is teasing and what is bullying? The line can be hard to distinguish, especially when your children are young. After all, friends joke with one another all the time. One way to help your teen understand the difference is to ask in what way is the other person being teased. Is everyone making fun of them? Is it relentless? Or are they making fun of one another and everyone is getting an equal share? Do they stop if the person asks? By answering these questions, they can discover whether it is teasing or actual bullying.
- Encourage them not to give into peer pressure. This one is harder. As adults, it can be hard enough to confront our peers, especially when they are friends. For teens, it can be even more difficult to get away from the pull of peer pressure. Encourage them to always stand up for those who are bullied and to never fall in line with the crowd when they are going against their values. You would be surprised by how effective this talk can be.
- Support Community Efforts. Bullying has gained a lot of exposure in the past decade, and there are regular community efforts for changes in policies, laws, and practices associated with the problem. You can take part in these campaigns. You can also be an active part of your teen’s school culture to make changes such as by joining the PTA or even setting up your own campaign—with the school administration’s permission if it is to take place on school grounds. Encourage your child to take part as well.
- Get Them To Talk. Having open and honest communication with your teenager can be difficult as they move into those more secretive years. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Encourage them to come to you if they are being bullied, or if they know a peer who is. Be a safe place to come to without judgment and show them that you are on their side. Listen to what they want to do about the issue and give them the active, leading role in managing the situation. That doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t step in if they refuse to do anything about it. But be sure to give them a chance to make their choice. After all, they will be dealing with bullies for the rest of their life, not just through high school. Give them practice now.
Together We Can Help Stop Bullying
Bullying is a serious issue, there is no doubt about it. If it were as easy as spreading awareness, then the job would already be done for us. But the truth is that it is a harder problem to tackle than that, and we need to support our kids as much as we need to be vigilant ourselves.
Because it’s only with your help, your child can become more resilient and help others take a stand against bullying.