Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, announced that together with his wife, he would give away 99% of his shares to create a fund to make the world a better place for their newly born daughter, Mia.
Acts of kindness make the lives of other people better. However, the recipients of the acts are not the only ones to gain benefits from it. Offering acts of kindness means that you have something that other people don’t have, therefore, giving it to them makes you feel better about yourself. Also, we like to think of ourselves as good people, when we offer someone an act of kindness, we provide evidence to ourselves that it is indeed true. Simply put, acts of kindness boost the well-being of both recipients and givers. However, you have control over how much happiness your acts of kindness will give you.
Positive psychology researchers attempted to identify the intricacies of the acts of kindness and found that our well-being increases to the highest level and lasts longer when we offer three big and five small acts of kindness to people on one day, rather than one act a day.
Last week, circumstances prompted my ‘acts of kindness’ adventure. It all began in my local grocery store, where I queued to use the ATM machine. I was in my own world, thinking of what I was going to buy, when suddenly it occurred to me that the lady in front of me has been using the machine a little longer than usual. I thought that perhaps, the ATM was broken, so I began observing what was happening carefully. She stood there staring at her account balance and not pressing any buttons. Then, suddenly, the transaction was terminated, her card popped out and she grabbed her basket and slowly walked away without taking any money.
As I put in my bank card and was entering my passcode, I looked over at the lady, who stood there in the middle of the shop taking out items from her shopping basket. Only at this time I have realised that the reason for the delay at the ATM was due to her insufficient funds. I quickly looked at the content of her basket, she would pay for it no more than 20 euro. I took out 20 euro from my account, ran after her and said that as I approached the ATM machine it had spat out 20 euro, which must be hers, as she was using it before me. She was shocked, looked at me, at the money, me again, and all she could say is: really? She kept repeating it over and over again, smile slowly returning to her face. Eventually, she took the money, went straight over to the cashpoint leaving me happier than I was on my way into the grocery shop. I received a happiness boost of a helper and did not want to stop at it. This was my one ‘medium’ act of kindness, and I decided I would try four more by the end of the day.
The next act I planned was to be more courteous on the road that I have ever been. I decided that on my way home, I would stop my car more than usual to let others pass. The opportunity came about very quickly as a car from one of the side roads wanted to enter the main road, but the driver felt uncomfortable to do it. I slowed my car right down letting him pass and feeling even better about my day.
My third act of kindness was for one of my friends. She had been staying recently in our place minding our dog while we went away for a couple of nights. She left her cardigan behind and was supposed to pick it up next time, however, as my act of kindness that day, I put it in an envelope, drove to her place and dropped it through her letter box. She was delighted when she received it that night. It offered her a happy surprise and gave me an additional happiness boost.
That day, in the afternoon, I delivered a training event. My participants usually pick up their own tea and coffee from the training centre’s kitchen. As my fourth act of kindness that day, I made everyone a flask of tea and coffee so that they did not have to wait for the water to boil. They cheered as they walked in and I felt fantastic knowing that I made their day better.
Finally, after work, I drove promptly home to offer my ultimate act of kindness that day. I prepared a beautiful meal with a delicious dessert for my partner. I had candles lit and music playing in the background when he walked in after a busy day at work. A happy smile stayed on both our faces all evening long.
My day of five acts of kindness left me feeling happy and high for many days. Try it out for yourself in this holiday season. Watch out for the opportunities to offer someone your helping hand. Plan it. Remember that doing three big acts of kindness or five small ones on the same day will boost your happiness more than doing just one kindness every now and then.
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