The more time I spend with young people, the more I notice that the school system seems to reflect where we are at as a society. As a society, we seem to be spending less time connecting as a community and more time pursuing individualistic goals. There is a focus on achieving more, getting more, making the economy work better and so this is reflected in our education system. The education system currently is geared towards preparing young people to exist, survive and thrive within an economy. And so there is pressure to perform well in exams, to memorise content for exams, to keep on top of all the academic work.
And as I meet with young people who are facing into their Leaving Cert soon, I wonder about their notions of ‘success.’ How will they define ‘success’ for themselves? For some, it may come in the form of ‘points’; they have very clear goals, regarding getting a place on the course that will provide them with a pathway to their chosen career and if that’s their choice, to define success like that, then no-one can say that’s not okay to do. But is that the only measure of success? Absolutely not.
For others, unsure about where to go next when school is done, it can be harder to reflect on what success might mean for them. It could be doing their best, which is always a marker of success no matter what the endeavour. But for those who just can’t wait to get school over with, because they have been battling with social anxiety their whole way through, my sense of those people is that all they wish for is to be finished. And I want to write this to celebrate their success in getting through school. Their success might not make front page news on results day, and possibly they would not want it to anyway, but in a quiet way, I hope they know that their success in sticking with the task of going into school and being in an environment that triggers much anxiety; that is a seismic success and it is worthy of applause.
Social Anxiety
I meet young people who are socially anxious. Some struggle with the thought of even having to get out of bed in the morning to face into school because being in school means they will have to engage in chit-chat and that triggers massive levels of anxiety. I meet young people who dread the lunch-break. They hate eating in front of others as it makes them feel really self-conscious, sometimes they only eat something tiny in school and so have to work most of the day on a fairly empty stomach. I meet young people who dread Monday mornings in school. They dread it because it’s the day that everyone seems to be talking about all that happened over the weekend, the highs and the lows of their nights out, the places visited, the conversations had. The idea of these conversations is enough to trigger anxiety for some and so Sunday evenings can be ruined.
I meet young people who hate the conversations about post Leaving Cert plans. It can seem as if everyone knows what they want to do except them and it can be really anxiety-provoking to imagine being honest and say ‘I just want to get finished with school so I don’t have to wear this uniform that makes me feel so not like myself and I can’t wait to get away from the constant comparing of myself to everyone else.’
There is something about the school system that can be challenging for any student. It is a very academic environment and not everyone fits with the same model of learning. For many, it can feel like the pressure to constantly learn and absorb information in a particular way is really difficult but for those who are socially anxious, the pressure can increase exponentially. Even the subjects that would not be considered to be ones where you need to memorise information for exams such as sport or dance or choir, these subjects, while providing balance and relief for many, can also trigger anxiety for someone with social anxiety as there is an element of socialising attached to them. And so, for those facing into the Leaving Cert who experience social anxiety, I would like to tell you this:
I have been blown away by your strength. I have witnessed along your journey how much effort you have made to deal with your social anxiety and to just keep on moving forward with school. You are in a system that has created challenges for you but you rose to the challenge and that is a mighty success. You took time to plan and prepare for those challenges and you worked with your thoughts to be able to keep going forward. You are already, even before any exams start, an amazing success. You have made it through and that is proof that you can face any challenge in your life with strength. I will always be glad to have witnessed your success and I will hope that you own the success that is rightly yours, even if you choose not to speak about it in your group of peers. When the newspapers celebrate the success of those with the high points, know that whether you are one of them or not, I will be thinking of your success that day. Sometimes the successes don’t need the recognition of the masses but for you, I wanted to say a very big and genuine, well done.
Help Information
Step Out Ireland aims to reduce the detrimental effects of Social Anxiety Disorder by organising interaction groups, which provide a welcoming environment for people to step out of their anxiety and make new connections, thereby increasing confidence and sense of belonging.