Following on from my first A Lust for Life article 15 things I absolutely love about not drinking, here are some steps to support you on your journey to living an alcohol free life.
- Make the decision that you no longer want to live like this. You are willing to change. Know that you can change just as others have, and live a better life alcohol free.
- Model the behaviour of other non-drinkers. Look how others have gone alcohol free and model their behaviour.
- Educate yourself – Read all the books available about alcohol addiction and how to overcome it. Jason Vales – Kick the Drink Easily, Allen Carr’s – Easyway to Control Alcohol – and many more.
- Take your time, if you have been drinking for 10 or 15 years, this will not change overnight. Give yourself some time and space to work through this, it may be a case of 2 steps forward and 1 step back, but keep moving forward. Be compassionate with yourself through this journey.
- Get support. Go to an AA meeting, great people sitting around drinking tea, nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of, or reach out to other non-drinkers and ask for help. oneyearnobeer.com. hellosundaymorning.org are doing great work to support people in this journey.
- Understand why? Look at the reasons why you drank alcohol and find new and better solutions for those issues. Look at your family history, society, peers, notice how all these things have influenced your attitude to alcohol. Seek out some counselling if you feel that might help you explore these deeper feelings. You can find therapists in your area here: iacp.ie, iahip.org, counsellingdirectory.ie
- Set your mantra. I don’t drink. I am a non-drinker. I am alcohol free.
- Replace it. You must look at what you would really like to do with your life, time and money. Whatever you are into, get more into it and enjoy yourself. Give it your energy, stop giving drinking your energy. Live YOUR life.
- Find new ways to socialise. Drinking is not socialising. It is drinking. It is dysfunctional socialising. See this and back away slowly. Find alternatives that will work for you and make the decision to bring more happiness into your life.
- Know moderation will not work. Trying to cut down or in some way control your drinking will not work if you know in your heart deep down you have a problem with drinking. You may moderate for a while but you will end up right back where you started. Drinker or Non-drinker… who are you?
- Don’t try and change others. Stay in your own business, other peoples’ drinking is none of your business, do not try and change them. Focus on your own actions, on your own life.
- Learn to manage others reactions. You will come up against some resistance to your non-drinking, soberphobia! , Others will try and get you to drink. Do not defend or argue. Just have some reasons ready and leave it at that. Some examples: I’m driving, I drank my share, not tonight, I don’t feel like it, I don’t want to be hungover in the morning , no thanks. I’d rather not. I’m up early. I’m bored of drinking. I’m over it. I don’t want to. I don’t drink, it makes me feel shit. etc.
- Forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up over past mistakes, you learn and you move on. Let go of the past, everything is over. Focus on now and your better future.
- Accept. Accept that this is a lifestyle change for the better, and if others do not like it be prepared to move on and put yourself first.
- Focus on all that you are gaining and not on what you think you might be losing out on. Better physical and mental health, more money, better relationships, better skin, more energy, more time, more freedom to do what you want. A better life.
- See the madness of drinking and celebrate that you are no longer a part of it.
- Realise that you were never meant to be a drinker. It is not who you are, before you ever drank you managed fine, go back and reclaim that confident non-drinker. That is who you are.
- Celebrate your new found freedom – treat yourself to a holiday, new guitar, new car, big TV, PlayStation, clothes, shoes, sports gear, weekend away, whatever you like!
- Share the Love. Help others who may need some guidance going Alcohol Free and show them the way to freedom.
- Be Grateful. That that part of your life is finally over and you have moved on to a happier, healthier and more confident you.