Welcome to the second of a series of six articles from me designed to help you have a successful year and beyond. Each article picks up from the previous one thus creating a mini development type programme for you. Back in the day we would’ve called this a ‘correspondence course’.
In the first article I looked at the importance of self-worth and how to have higher levels of self-worth without having to ‘show off’ or go on an ego trip. In other words, valuing ourselves and others in a genuine and authentic way. Self-worth also plays a vital role in the topic for this article.
Welcome to the Comfort Zone
The topic this time is the psychological model of human behavior known as the Comfort Zone Theory. The idea is that you and I have many comfort zones. A comfort zone is a rating; it is how good you think you are at coping with all the roles you have to play in work and life and, all the situations you find yourself in.
Risk Free or Risky
The size of your comfort zone is determined by two things – your past experience in the role or situation and your level of self-worth and confidence at the time. So you and I have many comfort zones of different sizes depending on our experience, competency and confidence. We like the comfort zone – it is a safe, comfortable, easy, familiar place to be and helps us to cope with life and with people. There are no risks or dangers here.
Outside the comfort zone lives the panic zone. This is an uncomfortable place to be. This is full of tension, panic, risks, and danger. We don’t like the panic zone.
Growth Zone
However, although the comfort zone is a beautiful place nothing ever grows there. You see the panic zone also includes excitement, adventure, development and growth. So to grow and develop anything you and I must be prepared to step outside the comfort zone from time to time; try something new, or take a different approach or, do something different or, learn a new skill or, further develop an existing one.
Follow the Leader
Our comfort zones follow us so if we stay in a comfort zone it gradually starts to creep in around us and in that role or situation we gradually start to lose confidence and competence. What was once within our comfort zone now starts to feel uncomfortable. This is where you and I are shrinking.
If however you step outside by doing something different or by taking a different approach to something, although it will feel uncomfortable at the time, if you hang in and accept it and allow yourself to sit in the discomfort and remind yourself that you are doing the right thing, your confidence and competence will expand; growth has now taken place.
Always in the Room
As you can see the comfort zone theory is fundamental to human behaviour. This means that in every coaching session I’ve had with a client, their comfort zones are always present; they are always in the room. The client has come for coaching because they want to effect change; they want more or less of something. But their own comfort zones are holding them back.
Do you have a Wait Problem?
But here’s the thing – the client always arrives with the answers; every client I’ve ever met already knows what they should do next! So I’m guessing that my role in the relationship is to help them get uncomfortable as soon as possible. In other words, take action with their own strategies and stop hiding and waiting.
Operate at the Edge
So, if you want more or less of something, you are going to have to get a little uncomfortable from time to time. I’m not interested in anyone making a massive leap out of comfort and then have many nights worrying about what they’ve done. No, all I advocate is small regular steps outside comfort and accepting that discomfort can be a good thing. And then when the discomfort becomes comfortable it’s probably time to go again. I call this operating on the edge of comfort.
Gravitational Pull
You could say that the comfort zone exerts a very strong gravitational pull on us that can be hard to escape. So it can be useful to have a similar gravitational pull originating from somewhere else. This will help pull us free from our current orbit and pull us into a new one. I felt this when I considered a career change at 40 years of age having worked for a bank for 23 years. I felt a very strong pull towards the work I’m doing now and it became clear that becoming self-employed was the best option that would allow me design my ideal work and life. This made the small scary steps easier to cope with.
Growth not Comfort
So this is the coaching part – have you settled for comfort ahead of adventure? Are you playing it safe? What could be a compelling other ‘planet’ that could pull you free? Are you worth the effort? What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Please note that the objective of life is growth not comfort, this is the objective of business too. The purpose of your life is not to play it safe. The purpose of your life is not to arrive safely at your death. Embrace discomfort if you feel you are getting somewhere.
See you next time when the topic will be Habit Intelligence – how to create habits that help you operate on the edge of comfort.
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