When we claim our right to be here in this world and belong to a place where we can authentically exist and express ourselves in the world, we can truly start to embrace a sense of belonging to self.
The art of becoming present and grounded is a fundamental practice to embrace belonging. No longer being pulled into the past which is gone or projecting something into the future, it is learning to embrace the present moment; where all the magic happens.
We can learn so much about embracing our sense of belonging when we look within instead of looking outside of self. Our inner world holds the keys to unlock this.
When we stop trying to “fit in” which, by its very nature, means trying to mold ourselves into something or someone we are not, we discover the essence of what it means to belong.
You can’t put a square peg into a round hole.
It just doesn’t fit.
When we adopt a sense of belonging to ourselves, just the way we are we can begin our journey to freedom. We are meant to be different, we are not all made the same.
We have been weaved by life’s circumstances, the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we have been told. But we are not just what we think we are or what we tell ourselves we are.
If we were born a child who loved to be in nature but grew up in a city, we may have a yearning that doesn’t get fulfilled for many years. We may feel like we only really belong when we move to the country years later. If we were a shy child we might have been pushed into an acting career by well-meaning parents, to help us get over ourselves. Imagine the very thought of trying to get over ourselves. Though gentle nudges from others to push ourselves out of our comfort zones (in a positive way) are crucial for growth, when we are pushed to be something we are fundamentally not, this can cause hurt.
What are the sacrifices we make if we do try to fit in and be something we are not? Do we swallow our shyness and adopt a tough exterior that doesn’t quite fit? Maybe we lose our voice right before a performance. We might ask is this the shyness roaring so hard to be heard that it takes away the very portal through which we perform?
We may feel at times we don’t fit it with our family. We may feel we are so different to them and we may even be labelled as the “black sheep”. Instead of feeling different or awkward we can look at this label and embrace it! We can use the label to our advantage to just be ourselves, to not be forced into doing things that don’t suit us. We can learn to walk a path that suits our blacksheepedness, our way!
Freedom to just be the way we are, is the essence of belonging. It’s a feeling of belonging to self with no regard for reshaping ourselves to the whims or beliefs of others. It is walking our path authentically, deeply rooted in our own stories and having a sense of trust that we are entitled to be here, right now.
All throughout our mythology, we have tales of heroes and heroines who must go through their descent to the darkness to shed the stories and false beliefs they may find themselves bound to. What then is in our mythology for those of us who do not adopt the false identifies or succumb to giving up our sovereignty to fit in?
This journey, although based in authenticity at its core, can often have one feeling on the outside of a society which seems in favour of conforming to what THEY think we SHOULD do rather than following our inner guidance. We are bombarded with ways to change the way we are from purchasing beauty products to the type of car we drive. We may seek prestige in labels and titles and how many PhD’s we have. Not that education is a bad thing, it’s just not everyone’s journey to authenticity and happiness.
No matter where we find ourselves right now there are always choices we can make, emotions we can work with, stories we can transcend and happiness we can find. We just first need to stop and become aware of what beliefs have molded and conditioned us to be the way we are. Who is running your story? Other people’s perceptions of you… or who you truly are? When we can tune into this, we can find out why we do what we do and what really drives us. With this awareness comes a realisation that we can make new stories based on the alignment of what we want now, perhaps with greater insights than we had in the past. We all have the power within to live authentic lives.