‘What if your purpose is to take impeccable care of yourself so that you have the energy and joy to serve others?’
Kris Carr.
How are you feeling, right here and now?
Often we let things go so far in our lives that before we realise it we have reached a point of overwhelm. So consider this-what about checking in with your lovely self sooner? I mean if you can be there for others so readily, why not be there for yourself-first.
There has been a shift in society in recent years, and more often than not people tend to feel better if they’re constantly doing or going. However for many, when all this ‘busy-ness’ comes to a halt and when you finally get some downtime your body and mind tend to both shout in equal unison, and a light bulb goes off…you hit a wall…. and you wonder….”Woooah-Why? Where on earth did this wave of emotion come from? I can’t be feeling like this, sure isn’t everything grand?!”
No wonder stress and other ailments are sadly on the rise. We are becoming a society of human doings. Yes it’s good to be involved, active and show up etc., but when overdoing it brings a detrimental force with it in the mask of a burn out or breakdown, it really is just not worth it. Why keep powering on at such speed to the detriment of yourself? What are we programming our future generation to do? A shift needs to occur. There is a fine line and a balance. Now more than ever we need to learn the value of being there for ourselves.
If we could all treat ourselves the way we would a dear family member or friend we’d be considerably happier within. It’s when the giving of yourself to other things, be it people, dilemmas, work, relationships etc., exceeds the amount of care or attention you provide to yourself, that’s the crunch point, the limit; as you suddenly feel whacked, drained and generally overwhelmed or unsupported by life.
As the old saying goes ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’, so to avoid such a catastrophic state of overwhelm and panic, how about trying to fill your own cup up first. For the givers out there this may sound selfish. But it is in fact a sheer necessity. If you can’t be there for yourself, you really and truly are, at nothing trying to conceal your own needs at the expense of serving others.
Of course there is a feel good, warm and cosy feeling that accompanies being the great friend/partner/sibling/co-worker etc., and it is undeniable that the sense of worth derived from the feeling of others enjoying your company cannot be bought, but again what is it worth, when at the end of the day you end up being left with a feeling of depletion that prevents you from even enjoying your own company.
I’m not saying cut off all social ties and contacts and extinguish any potential good deeds or gestures that you pass on to others, what I am saying is, perhaps try extending that good will to your self-first! Fulfil your needs, take time to be alone and to breathe, discover what you like and dislike again, and revert back to simplicity. Be with you so you can be there for others. It’s not selfish. It’s essential, No point being the life and soul of the party when all you’ve left at the end of the day is a burnt candle wick for yourself to attempt to crack a light out of.
In today’s society social media and the copious ties associated with it rarely allow for down time and peace and quiet, between instant messaging, online and offline tracking, no one really has any true privacy or quiet anymore. Strip it back to the basics. Eliminate and free yourself from the need for instantaneous replies to messages, requests or demands that may be asked of you. Rather than checking your phone, check in with yourself first and when your needs have been sufficiently met, then and only then fire on with the replies and what not’s.
Acknowledge what you need in moments of distress or discomfort, try not to run, rather try to stay, feel and breathe! Use your senses…ask yourself…What can I see…hear…smell…taste…touch?
Say to yourself ‘ I’ve got you’. Become your own cheerleader first. Self care is so over looked but it’s a great contributor to enhancing and protecting your much needed level of mental fitness. Take control of your own self care and be there for yourself first. Lose the guilt and fill up that cup, and ironically, you’ll end up being more present and more available for others than you ever thought possible.
“Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment”
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